Saraband for Two Sisters

“We were trying to remember the other day because Grace was saying it was funny in a way-oh, not to make you laugh. I don’t mean that ... queer if you like. The song was about her being laid in her grave and she hoped her wrongs wouldn’t be held against her. The last line used to go, ‘Remember me, but forget what brought me to this state,’ which was very odd in a way.”

“You mean because she died so young... and unexpectedly?»

“Oh, it was expected. She’d been ailing all the time. The midwife Mrs. Jesson, that was-she died a few years later-spoke to me a few days before and said she didn’t think her ladyship could survive.”

“She was very ill, then?”

“Every woman must be a bit afraid of her first. It’s natural and there’s many who give their lives for the sake of the child. It’s nature’s way. But it ain’t natural for anyone to be quite so frightened. That’s what I reckon.»

“And so she and her baby died.”

“It was a sad time, I can tell you. The General he just went away and the house was quiet and dead-like for more than a year.”

“How very sad.”

“Oh, well, things are different now. You’re a strong healthy young lady if you’ll forgive me the liberty of remarking on it. I reckon when your time comes ...” She looked at me intently, and for the first time I noticed an alertness in her eyes which did not quite accord with her placid rotundity. I supposed that she was naturally interested to know if I had already conceived. Women like her would like to have children in the house.

I stood up suddenly. I felt I had talked enough and I had a sudden notion that Richard would not approve of this chattering with the servants.

So I said, “There is no need to cook a great deal, Mrs. Cherry, as I shall be alone.” ‘Well, of course not, my lady. You just tell me what you want and I promise you it will be just to your liking.”

I had always had a strong curiosity about what was going on around me, and I thought a great deal about Richard’s life with Magdalen and wondered whether he had fought out old battles with her and admonished her about her lack of concentrated effort over the chessboard.

I smiled indulgently. Well, he wouldn’t have wanted a wife who could beat him, would he? I was not sure. There was a great deal about him that I did not understand. I was glad of it, for it made our future life full of interest and discovery. I feared I was much more easy to read.

I was longing to work on a canvas. I wished Bersaba were there. She used to draw my pictures for me, making the finished work a joint affair. When people complimented me on the finesse of my stitches I would always draw attention to the design. “That is my sister’s work,” I would say.

As I went through the canvases I found one of them already mapped out. The design was beautifully drawn, and I thought, “Magdalen was quite an artist.” It was a garden scene. There was a pond with lilies on it and I realized at once that it was a study of the pond garden, which was enclosed by a hedge and surrounded by a pleached alley. I studied it intently. What beautiful colors one could use! And then I saw that above the alley there was a glimpse of the towers of the Folly without the tall wall which was now there.

I thought, “I must work that canvas, for it will solve the problem of the drawing.” When I found exactly the silks I needed I could not wait to begin, so I sat down there in the room, for it was an ideal spot and I could understand why she had used it so much. The light was exactly what one needed for such work. As I sat there a strange feeling came over me. I felt at home and as though I were not alone.

“I hope, Magdalen,” I said aloud, “you don’t mind my using your canvas.”

The sound of my voice startled me and I laughed at myself but at the same time it was almost as though I heard a murmur of contentment as I sat there, selecting my silks. How I loved working with bright colors! The room was full of sunshine and I thought, “Could I make this my room? Richard wouldn’t like it Or did I imagine that? Perhaps he had merely been eager to show me the rest of the house and that was why he had not wanted to linger.”

I worked on for a while and then suddenly the room darkened. I turned sharply and went to the window. It was only a dark cloud passing across the face of the sun. There was a tetchy wind and quite a number of clouds had sprung up. I watched them scurrying across the sky. Now the sun was completely hidden and darkness hung over the towers of the Folly. My mood had changed and I fancied there was a menace in the air. I turned away to look round the room. It was different now it was darker. My canvas lay on the table and the room had lost its homely atmosphere. It seemed full of menacing warning, and I had the feeling that I wanted to get away. As I went out I could almost hear Bersaba’s voice mocking me as she had when I had wakened sometimes from my nightmares.