Saraband for Two Sisters

Then he showed me an aspen-the trembling poplar-and it was fascinating to watch how it quivered in the light breeze, “It is said that the cross of Christ was made from the wood of an aspen and that ever after it has been unable to rest.”

“Do you believe that?” I asked.

He shook his head. “The leaves tremble so much because their stems are so long and slender.”

“Do you have a logical explanation for everything?”

“I hope so.”

I was learning a great deal about him. In the evenings he liked to talk to me about his battles and I tried to learn about them. Oddly enough he had sets of soldiers-tin ones, infantry and cavalry such as children play with. I was astonished when I first saw them. To imagine Richard playing with soldiers was the last thing I would have thought possible. But it was scarcely playing with them. He showed how certain battles had been won or lost, and he would take a large sheet of paper and draw out the battlefield and place his soldiers on them.

He would show a rare excitement as he moved the soldiers about “You see, Angelet, the foot soldiers came along here, but what they didn’t know was that the cavalry was lying in wait behind this hill. You see? They were so strategically placed that they were hidden from sight. It was a mistake on the part of the foot commander. He should have sent out spies to assess the enemy’s position.” I tried to follow because I was so anxious to please him. It moved me deeply to see him there with his miniature soldiers. It made him seem young and vulnerable in a way.

I wished that I could have been interested in the battles, but I could only pretend to be. I had always hated talk of fighting. My mother used to say that wars were made by the folly of ambitious men and although they brought temporary gain to one side it was rarely worth having. Of course they had still talked now and then of the defeat of the Armada, but that was a sea battle and we had been fighting for our lives and our freedom then.

So I would sit there in the evenings while he played out his battles and engaged me in a game of chess-a game at which I had never excelled. Bersaba and I used to play together and I so rarely defeated her that it was a red letter day when I did.

After the game was over Richard would sit back and survey the board and tell me where I had gone wrong and often he would put the pieces back and want us to start again at that point He was born to command and to teach I suppose, and he seemed to take a special delight in instructing me. Sometimes I thought he looked upon me as a pupil-a beloved and cherished pupil, but one nonetheless who needed a good deal of instruction. I did not mind. I was happy, desperately wanting to please him. I had to remember that I would seem such a child to him. I was going to try to grow up, to enjoy the things that he enjoyed, to be able to plan my chess moves as far ahead as he could and to understand why the infantry should have gone forward instead of remaining where they were -or vice versa.

So this life went on for those two weeks. It was a sort of routine-a tender teacher with his pupil.

Then one day a messenger came. He was in the uniform of the King’s Guard, and he had a letter for Richard.

This captain and Richard were closeted in the library for a long time and then Richard sent one of the servants for me.

I went down to the library and Richard smiled at me-rather sternly, I thought. He presented the captain to me and said, “I shall be leaving tomorrow, Angelet. It is necessary for me to go north for a brief spell. Trouble is expected on the border.” I knew I must not show my disappointment. He had told me that a soldier’s wife must be prepared for sudden calls such as this, so I tried to be the wife he would have wished me to and said, “What would you like me to tell the servants to prepare?” My voice was a little tremulous but I was rewarded with a look of approval.

The next day he left Far Flamstead.

The house seemed different without him. I had the sudden odd feeling that it was secretly amused because I was now at its mercy. I had always been fanciful; I lacked that logical mind which Richard had cultivated. He had left in the afternoon and I went right up to the roof and watched him until I could see him no more. Then I descended the newel staircase and as I came down I paused at the door of the Castle Room. My hand was on the latch but I hesitated. He had not wanted me to go into that room for some reason. What would he think of me if I went in within half an hour of his departure? Resolutely I went back to our bedroom.

I stood at the window and looked out. I could just see the pseudobattlements of the castle, and I wondered why he had looked so stem when he had told me I was not to go there. I turned my back on the view and, sitting on the window seat, looked at the four-poster bed. I should sleep there alone tonight, and it was no use telling myself I was not relieved because my feelings were too strong to be denied.