Polynya

Hiccup shakes his head. “I swear, for someone that used to be level 96 ninja, you don’t know fick all about Tritania. The Lost Boys live on the back of a giant turtle down there in the Endless Sea.”

“Bitakh Morla, the Island Turtle.”

“What Liz said.” Hiccup’s bushy eyebrows narrow on the path ahead. “Quit asking stupid questions, Marbles. Looks like we’ve got company!”

Ryuk keeps his marble gun at the ready as three cloaked commoners approach. The thought strikes him like a sucker punch. They too are on a quest, only on the opposite side – they’re out to stop the shipment of Wizardous.

A scalding blast from a female mage forces Ryuk into a backflip with a belly-flop ending.

-89 HP!

He rolls to his side and gets his marble gun up. The mage blocks all three shots with a shield made of radiant energy.

Her guildmates toss their cloaks back to reveal their faces.

Goblin Thief Level 5

HP: 213/213                

ATK: 34          

MATK: 12

DEF: 65

MDF: 37

LUCK: 5

 

Mind Mage Level 6

HP: 240/240

MANA: 201/201             

ATK: 17        

MATK: 56

DEF: 22

MDF: 49

LUCK: 2

 

Dark Elf Warrior Level 10

HP: 355/355             

ATK: 147        

MATK: 12

DEF: 96

MDF: 40

LUCK: 3

“Spew Gorge!?” Hiccup cries from the shadows. “What the fick are you doing on their side?”

The enemy goblin does a double take. “Hiccup?”

“Fick yeah it’s me. Getchur ass over here and I’ll give you a cut of the winnings!”

As he keeps his marble gun trained on the female mage, Ryuk tries to place where he’s heard the name Spew Gorge before. Wasn’t he Hiccup’s cousin who lost his chalupa in a game of Natty Dread?

Ryuk suddenly feels stupid for even pondering such a question.

As if to confirm Ryuk’s thought, Hiccup asks, “How’s your chalupa holding up, Spewy?”

“Don’t you talk about my chalupa, you fickin’ fick-faced fickboy!” the goblin barks.

“Fickboy? I’m older than you, Spewy, by at least fifty years. That’s fickman, you little bitch-titted ficktard and another thing … ” Hiccup grunts and lets loose a string of fick-laced cursing the likes of which Ryuk has never heard before. Finally he pauses, takes a deep breath, clears his throat, and shouts, “The goblin is mine!”

Spew Gorge charges, and the two solid slabs of grade D goblin meat collide.

They bite, they pinch, they scratch, they scrape, they scream like sissies, they seethe, they claw at each other's eyes as they roll around, kicking up dirt and debris, knocking over anything they happen to roll into.

-49 HP!

Using the goblin melee as a distraction, Ryuk cuts the female Mind Mage down with a black marble. She crawls towards a stack of barrels as magic ripples up and down her arms. Before Ryuk can ignite the crates, a giant brawler made of smoke hops out onto the cobblestone street. He flexes, drops to a runner’s stance, and takes off.

Shit! Ryuk hightails it, knowing full well that he won’t be able to go toe-to-toe with the Mind Mage’s magic. He skids to a halt and crouches behind a barrel.

The clink and clank of swords meet his ears as Zaena takes on the Dark Elf Warrior. A quick glance to the northeast and Ryuk sees that the warrior elf has conjured a large purple sword rimmed with bubbling energy. Zaena holds her own, spinning and slicing, the dim lights of the city reflecting off her shiny blades.

He turns his marble gun on the smoky brawler and the whispery behemoth made from gray and black tendrils of oily smoke disappears completely.

Ryuk turns left, right – nothing.

All he can see now is Zaena battling the elf while Hiccup and Spew Gorge continue their violent family reunion.

KO! -100 HP!

Ryuk’s vision is suddenly waxy.

He knows he’s hit the ground; he can see the towering brawler made of smoke looming over him.

He tries to go for his gun but the Mind Mage’s combatant knocks it out of his hand. The smoky brawler brings his foot down on Ryuk’s Dream Armor. -38 HP! Even with the stars and galaxies twirling around his head, Ryuk manages to bring his knees to his chest to protect himself from the next kick.

-17 HP!

“Damn!” Ryuk jams his fingers into his clear marble pouch and manages to avoid the next kick by rolling away.

As the smoky brawler lifts his leg back to give him a football punt to the noggin, Ryuk stuffs the marble in his mouth and spits it at the brawler.

Dispel magic! he thinks, and sure enough, the smoky brawler flashes white and disappears.

Skill level up!

Skill: A Simple Request

Level Four: 1 in 6.25 chance of a request being granted.

Caveat: Only works with a clear marble.