Mr. Knightley’s Diary

"Oh! no, no," she cried, laughing carelessly. "Upon no account in the world. It is the very last thing I would stand the brunt of just now. Let me hear anything rather than what you are all thinking of. I will not say quite all. There are one or two, perhaps," - glancing at Mr. Weston and Harriet - "whose thoughts I might not be afraid of knowing."

Well might she say so. They never find fault with anything she does, but to have such uncritical friends is not good for anyone.

"It is a sort of thing which I should not have thought myself privileged to enquire into," cried Mrs. Elton, not at all pleased with the turn the conversation had taken, though her anger was mostly caused by the fact that she was not the centre of attention.

There was whispering from Frank Churchill, and Emma showed no disgust at his behaviour, as she would have done had anyone else whispered in company. Instead she went on smiling. He then said that Emma - making her the source for all his proclamations - demanded a clever saying from everyone.

"Or two things moderately clever - or three things very dull indeed," he said extravagantly, "and she engages to laugh heartily at them all."

"Oh! very well," exclaimed good Miss Bates, "then I need not be uneasy. “Three things very dull indeed.” That will just do for me, you know. I shall be sure to say three dull things as soon as ever I open my mouth, shan"t I?"

I was just about to say, "Not at all," and I saw Mrs. Weston about to do the same, when Emma said:

"Ah! ma"am, but there may be a difficulty. Pardon me, but you will be limited as to number - only three at once."

I could not believe it. Instead of reassuring Miss Bates that her contributions to the conversation were always valued, she insulted her in front of all her friends; worse still, in front of her niece. I felt sick with it. She would never have said such a thing before meeting Frank Churchill!

Miss Bates did not realize what Emma had said, and I was about to divert her attention by offering her another slice of pie when I saw her face change and knew I was too late.

"Ah! well - to be sure. Yes, I see what she means," she said, turning to me. I will try to hold my tongue. I must make myself very disagreeable, or she would not have said such a thing to an old friend."

I was mortified, yet Emma continued to smile and Weston went on with the conversation as though nothing was wrong. Weston! Who should have shown her what he thought of such conduct by a frown.

He then made things worse by offering a conundrum, and one which could not have been more badly chosen.

"What two letters of the alphabet are there, that express perfection?" he asked.

And the answer?

"M and A: Emma!" Weston said. "Do you understand?"

Emma understood, and was gratified, whilst I was annoyed. Emma, perfect? Emma, who had insulted her oldest friend? Emma, who had flirted shamelessly in front of all her friends?

Emma basked in the praise, though it was ill-deserved, whilst her flatterer, Frank Churchill, laughed and enjoyed it.

"This explains the sort of clever thing that is wanted," I said without humour, "but perfection should not have come quite so soon."

It made no difference. Emma was pleased, and so was her court. Mrs. Elton, it is true, was not pleased, though if she could have changed her name to Emma, she would have thought it the best conundrum in the world.

She and her husband declared their intention of taking a walk, and Churchill passed a disparaging remark about couples who met at a watering-place. I was astounded at his bad manners. Though I do not believe there is much genuine affection between Elton and his wife, it should not have been remarked on, and in such a way.

Miss Fairfax could stand no more, and said she would take a walk. I did not blame her. I declared my intention of taking a walk as well, and gave her one arm, whilst offering Miss Bates the other.

"Oh, Mr. Knightley, how kind of you to walk with us," said Miss Bates. "I am not surprised Miss

Woodhouse did not enjoy my company - so kind of her to be so forbearing - I rattle on sadly, it must be a trial to her - so good of her to trouble herself to visit me, for I am sure I am always receiving attention from her and her father," she said, as we set out.

And for the rest of the walk, I had to listen to her apologizing for her tongue, when it should have been Emma who was apologizing for hers.

I did what I could to soothe her, and she grew easier. I was just beginning to regain my composure when Mrs. Elton joined us and tried to force Miss Fairfax to take up an appointment with friends of hers. I pity any poor woman who would have to go as a governess to Mrs. Smallwood, no matter how near Maple Grove she might be! This objectionable episode put the seal on a most disagreeable day.