Mr. Knightley’s Diary

I have had no success in finding Emma alone this week. She has either been out walking, or with Harriet, or with her father. But I must speak to her. When she comes to the Abbey, I mean to offer her my arm and lead her away from the others. Once in a secluded corner I can speak to her, tentatively at first, to see if I can discover whether she has irrevocably given her heart to Churchill, and then, if she has not, I mean to ask her to marry me.

Wednesday 23 June

I was walking into Highbury when I passed Mrs. Elton by chance. She and her husband were taking the air. I wondered if he knew about the plan for a donkey, and that he was expected to walk beside it.

"Look, Mr. E, here is Knightley!" she said.

I could not ignore her greeting, and bade her good morning.

"What do you think, Knightley?" she asked me. "The carriage-horse has recovered. My caro sposo and I are planning a trip to Box Hill on the twenty-fifth, the day after we come to Donwell. I hope you will join us. You and I must lead the way, Knightley. We must not let this good weather pass us by."

I could not readily think of an excuse, so I agreed. If, for any reason, the day at the Abbey does not give me a chance to speak to Emma, then a day at Box Hill will surely do so.

Thursday 24 June

I was relieved when I awoke to a day of bright sunshine, knowing it would make the strawberry-picking so much more enjoyable. Even so, I ordered a fire lit in the sitting-room for Mr. Woodhouse, for he feels the cold, even in summer.

I helped Emma settle him when he arrived, and he was happy to sit with Mrs. Weston, who claimed she was tired, and that she would much rather remain indoors. I gave them a collection of medals, engravings, cameos, corals and shells to look through and then went outside with my other guests.

The strawberry-picking began. Berries were picked and eaten, their relative flavours and textures discussed, and favourite varieties were remarked upon. Mrs. Elton gave her opinion decidedly, whilst Elton danced attendance and Weston worried about his son.

"I thought Frank would be here by now," he said on more than one occasion, looking at his watch.

"He has had time, I am sure. I thought we would have seen him here already."

I took my chance and walked up to Emma, but to my frustration, Mrs. Elton was before me, and was soon telling Emma that, as the two leading ladies of the district, they must find a position for Jane Fairfax without delay.

I had no desire to join their conversation, and I was about to join Mr. Woodhouse indoors when I noticed that Harriet appeared at something of a loss. Seeing an opportunity to help Robert Martin, I went over to her and engaged her in conversation. I asked her how she liked the weather, and what she thought of the Abbey, and as I talked to her, I led her away from the others, down the lime-walk. She went with me readily, and as we stood together at the end of the lime-walk, we looked out over Abbey Mill Farm.

With this view in sight, I brought the conversation round to the Westons, and said how happy their marriage had made them.

"Yes, indeed," she said shyly.

"The Eltons, too, seem happy," I said.

She blushed, for the Eltons brought back unwelcome memories, but they served my purpose, and she admitted that they seemed happy, too.

Then, having turned her attention towards matrimony, I chose my next words carefully, and without actually asking her outright, I tried to discover if her affections were engaged.

She murmured something I did not catch, but her very shyness seemed to imply that they were. I pressed on, pointing out that Abbey Mill Farm was well-run and prosperous, and drawing her attention to the fine animals, the healthy orchards and the well-tended fields. She listened to everything I said with rapt attention. She blushed and murmured in just the way a young girl in love ought to do, and I felt that Robert Martin would be made happy before very long.

I would have said more, but that Emma joined us at that moment and I could not think of Harriet any longer, except to wish she would take herself off and leave us alone. She did not do so, and, Mrs. Weston coming out, I had to master my frustration at so much unwanted company and play the host.

"I hope Frank has not had an accident," said Mrs. Weston. "I thought he would have been here by now. I am worried about his horse."

"The black mare? As safe a horse as ever I saw," said Weston, coming up. "Depend on it, it is his aunt."

I had no chance to speak to Emma alone before lunch, but afterwards she declared she would stay indoors with her father. I saw my chance, and having seen to the comfort of my guests outside, I returned to the Abbey. I had resolved to call her out of the room on some pretext so that I could see her for a few minutes alone, for I was growing weary of waiting for such an opportunity to arise. As I walked through the hall, I rehearsed my speech:

Emma, we have known each other a long time…. Emma, I must speak to you….