Mr. Darcy's Diary

‘Are you to abandon old friends for new?’ cried Caroline. ‘Mrs Bennet said you could dine with her family at any time. I heard her say so myself. The Bennets will still be there after Christmas.’

Bingley looked uncertain, but then he said: ‘Very well.

We will stay in town for Christmas. ’ He began to look more cheerful. ‘I dare say it will be good fun. It is always better to celebrate Christmas when there are children in the house.’

This did not bode well for his feelings towards Georgiana, but I comforted myself with the fact that he had not seen her for a long time, and that although she might have seemed like a child the last time they met, she was now clearly becoming a young woman.

‘And once it is over, we will go to Hertfordshire for the New Year,’ he said. ‘I will write to Miss Bennet and tell her of our plans.’

‘There is no need for that,’ said Caroline. ‘I will be writing to her today. I will tell her so myself.’

‘Send her my best wishes,’ said Bingley.

‘Indeed I will.’

‘And tell her we will be in Hertfordshire in January.’

‘I will make sure I do so.’

‘Commend me to her family.’

‘Of course.’

He would have gone on, but I broke in with: ‘Then it is settled.’

Caroline left the room in order to write her letter.

Louisa and her husband went, too, and Bingley and I were left alone.

‘A Christmas to look forward to, and a New Year to look forward to even more,’ said Bingley.

‘You like Miss Bennet,’ I observed.

‘I have never met a girl I liked half so well.’

I sat down, and Bingley sat down opposite me.

‘And yet I am not sure she would make you a good wife,’ I said pensively.

‘What do you mean?’ he asked, surprised.

‘Her low connections –’

‘I do not intend to marry her connections!’ said Bingley with a laugh.

‘An uncle who is an attorney, another who lives in Cheapside. They can add nothing to your consequence, and will, in the end, diminish it.’

Bingley’s smile faded.

‘I cannot see that it matters. What need have I of consequence?’

‘Every gentleman needs consequence. And then there are the sisters.’

‘Miss Elizabeth is a charming girl.’

He had hit me at my weakest spot, but I was firm with myself and rallied.

‘Her sisters are, for the most part, ignorant and vulgar.

The youngest is a hardened flirt.’

‘There will be no need for us to see them,’ said Bingley.

‘My dear Bingley, you cannot live at Netherfield and not see them. They will always be there. So will her mother.’

‘Then we will not live at Netherfield. I have not yet bought the estate. It is only rented. We will settle elsewhere.’

‘But would Jane consent to it?’

His face fell.

‘If she felt a strong attachment to you, perhaps she might be persuaded to leave her neighbourhood,’ I said.

‘You think she does not feel it?’ asked Bingley uncertainly.

‘She is a delightful girl, but she showed no more pleasure in your company than in any other man’s.’

He chewed his lip.

‘I thought…she seemed pleased to talk to me…seemed pleased to dance with me…I rather thought she seemed more pleased with me than any other man. When we danced together –’

‘You danced but twice at each ball, and she danced twice with other men.’

‘She did,’ he admitted, ‘but I thought that was just because it would have been rude to refuse.’

‘Perhaps it would have been rude of her to refuse you.’

‘You think she only danced with me to be polite?’ he asked in consternation.

‘I would not go so far. I think she enjoyed dancing with you, and talking to you, and flirting with you. But I think she enjoyed it no more than with other men, and now that you are not in Hertfordshire –’

‘I must go back,’ he said, standing up. ‘I knew it.’

‘But if she is indifferent, you will only give yourself pain.’

‘If she is indifferent. You do not know that she is.’

‘No, I do not know it, but I observed her closely, and I could see no sign of particular regard.’

‘You observed her?’ he asked in surprise.

‘Your singling her out was beginning to attract attention. Others had noticed besides myself. If it had been gone on much longer, you would have been obliged to have made her an offer.’

‘I would have liked to have made her an offer,’ he corrected me, then faltered. ‘Do you think she would have accepted?’

‘Of course. It would have been a good match for her.

You have a considerable income, and a beautiful house.

She would have been settled near her family. There is no question of her refusing. But should you like to be married for those reasons?’

He looked doubtful.

‘I would rather be married for myself,’ he conceded.

‘And so you will be, one day.’

He sat down again.

‘She was too good for me,’ he said morosely.

‘Hardly that, but if her affections are not engaged, what is the point of marriage? You will meet another girl, as sweet as Miss Bennet, but one who can return your feelings in full measure. London is full of young ladies.’

‘But I have no interest in other young ladies.’

‘In time, you will have.’

Bingley said nothing, but I was easy in my mind. He will have forgotten her before the winter is over.