Mr. Darcy's Diary

‘No, not her, the other one. The one with the petticoat.’

‘Ah, you mean Elizabeth.’

‘That’s the one. Had an offer from the clergyman.’

‘An offer? From the clergyman? What do you mean?’ asked Caroline and Louisa together.

‘An offer of marriage. Collins. That was his name.’

‘Mr Collins! How delicious!’ said Louisa.

‘It seems that Mr Collins is another admirer of fine eyes,’ said Caroline, looking at me satirically. ‘I think they will deal well together. One is all impertinence, and the other is all imbecility.’

I had not known, till I heard this, how far my feelings had gone. The idea of Elizabeth marrying Mr Collins was mortifying, and painful in a way I had not imagined. I quickly rallied. Hurst must be mistaken. She could not lower herself so far. To be tied to that clod for the rest of her life…

‘You must be mistaken,’ I said.

‘Not mistaken at all,’ said Hurst. ‘Had it from Denny.’

‘It is not a bad match,’ said Louisa, considering. ‘In fact, it is a good one. There are five daughters, all unmarried, and their estate is entailed, I believe.’

‘Entailed on Collins,’ said Mr Hurst.

‘All the better,’ said Louisa. ‘Miss Eliza Bennet will not have to leave her home, and her sisters will have somewhere to live when her father dies.’

‘And so will her mother,’ said Caroline gaily. ‘How charming to be confined with Mrs Bennet for the rest of their lives!’

I had never liked Caroline less. I would not wish such a fate on anyone, and certainly not on Elizabeth. She suffers for her mother. I have seen it. She blushes every time her mother reveals her foolishness. To be forced to endure such humiliation for the rest of her life…

‘But I wonder why he did not ask Jane,’ said Louisa.

‘Jane?’ enquired Caroline.

‘Yes. She is the eldest.’

Caroline looked at me. I knew what she was thinking.

Mr Collins had not asked Jane, because Mrs Bennet had led him to believe that Jane was shortly to be married to Bingley.

‘I dare say, with the estate entailed, he thought he could have his choice,’ Caroline said. ‘Miss Eliza Bennet’s pertness must have appealed to him, though I am not sure she will make a suitable wife for a clergyman. What say you, Mr Darcy?’

I said nothing, for fear of saying something I should regret. I could not possibly allow myself to admire Elizabeth, so what did it matter if another man did? But I found that my hands were clenched and, looking down, perceived my knuckles had grown white.

She looked at me, expecting an answer, however, and at last I said, more to satisfy my own feelings than hers:

‘It might come to nothing. Denny might be mistaken.’

‘I do not see how,’ said Caroline. ‘He is as thick as thieves with Lydia. He knows everything that goes on in that household I dare say.’

‘Lydia is a child, and might have been wrong,’ I heard myself saying.

‘Denny did not have it from Lydia,’ said Mr Hurst.

‘Had it from the aunt. Aunt lives in Meryton. Told Denny herself. Whole house was in an uproar, she said. First Mr Collins offers for Elizabeth, then Elizabeth tells him she will not have him.’

‘Will not have him?’

I heard the hope in my voice.

‘Refused him. Mother in hysterics. Father on her side,’ said Mr Hurst.

God bless Mr Bennet! I thought, prepared to forgive him every other instance of neglect.

‘If she doesn’t change her mind and have him, he will have the Lucas girl,’ said Mr Hurst.

‘How do you know?’ asked Caroline in surprise.

‘Aunt said so. “If Lizzy doesn’t look sharp, Charlotte will have him,” she said. “He has to marry, his patroness has told him so, and one girl is as good as another in the end. ”’

I breathed again. It was only when I did so that I realized how deeply I had been attracted by Elizabeth. It was a good thing I was going to London. I had saved Bingley from an imprudent match, I could do no less for myself.

Once out of Elizabeth’s neighbourhood, I would cease to think about her. I would engage in rational conversation with rational women, and think no more of her saucy wit.

We arrived in London in good time. Bingley was surprised to see us.

‘We did not want you to be alone here, and to have to spend your free hours in a comfortless hotel,’ said Caroline.

‘But my business will only take a few days!’ he said in surprise.

‘I hope you will not go before seeing Georgiana,’ I said. ‘I know she would like to see you.’

‘Dear Georgiana,’ said Caroline. ‘Do say we can stay in town for a week, Charles.’

‘I do not know why I should not stay an extra day or two,’ he conceded. ‘I should like to see Georgiana myself.

Tell me, Darcy, is she much grown?’

‘You would not recognize her,’ I said. ‘She is no longer a girl. She is well on the way to becoming a woman.’

‘But still young enough to enjoy Christmas?’ Caroline asked.

I smiled. ‘I believe so. You must stay and celebrate it with us.’

‘We will not be staying so long,’ said Bingley.

‘What, and miss Christmas with Darcy and Georgiana?’ asked Caroline.

‘But I promised to dine with the Bennets,’ he said.

‘Mrs Bennet asked me particularly, and in the kindest manner.’