Mr. Darcy's Diary

You dance very well, Mr Darcy. You and I together can set her an example. Charles and I are at your disposal if you should wish to hold another such evening. It can do Georgiana nothing but good to see others dancing, and it will help her achieve confidence and poise.’

I was reminded of another time when she had praised me, saying how well I wrote my letters. I recalled the scene exactly. It had been at Netherfield, and Elizabeth had been with us. I felt a stirring of something inside me as I thought of her. Anger, perhaps, that she had so bewitched me?

Our dance broke up. Our guests left, and I had the satisfaction of seeing Georgiana retiring to bed, tired but happy.

She has completely forgotten George Wickham, I am sure of it. As long as nothing reminds her of him, I do not believe she will think of him again.

Tuesday 24th December

We had our game of charades after dinner this evening. I was pleased when Caroline thought of suggesting that Georgiana and Bingley work on their charade together.

They retreated into a corner of the room, their heads close enough to be almost touching. It was a most pleasing sight.

The charades were very enjoyable, and after we had all performed, we went in to supper.

‘Do you know, Darcy, I thought we would be spending Christmas at Netherfield this year,’ said Bingley with a sigh. ‘That had been my plan when I took the house. I wonder what they are all doing now.’

I thought it wiser to turn his thoughts away from this direction.

‘Much the same as we are doing here. Take some more of the venison.’

He did as I suggested, and said no more about Netherfield.

Wednesday 25th December

I have never enjoyed a Christmas day more. We went to church this morning and this evening we played at bullet pudding and snapdragon. As we did so I noticed a change in Georgiana. Last year she played as a child, enjoying the novelty of putting her hands into the flames to snatch a burning raisin, and blowing on her fingers when she was not quick enough to emerge unscathed. This year, she played to please me. I could see it in her eyes.

I wonder if Elizabeth plays at bullet pudding and snapdragon. I wonder if she burnt her fingers as she snatched the raisins out of the flames.

Saturday 28th December

‘I wonder you do not think of marrying Miss Bingley,’ I said to Colonel Fitzwilliam as we rode out together this morning.

‘Miss Bingley?’

‘She is a wealthy young woman, and you are in need of an heiress.’

He shook his head.

‘I do not wish to marry Miss Bingley.’

‘She is charming and elegant, gracious and well bred.’

‘She is all those things, but I could not marry her. She is a cold woman. When I marry, I would like a wife with more warmth. I would also like someone who will look up to me, rather than someone who will look up to my family name.’

‘I never knew you wanted that from a wife,’ I said in surprise.

‘As a younger son, I have had to look up to others all my life. I would like to experience the situation from another side!’

He spoke lightly, but I think there was some truth in what he said.

We rode on in silence for some way, enjoying the snow-covered scenery.

‘How long will you be in town?’ I asked him.

‘Not long. I have business which requires my attention in Kent. I mean to pay my respects to Lady Catherine whilst I am there. Shall I tell her you will be visiting her at Easter?’

‘Yes, I will visit her as usual. When will you be returning to town?’

‘Soon, I hope. Before Easter, certainly.’

‘Then you must dine with me when you do.’

January

Friday 3rd January

There has been a most unwelcome incident. Caroline has had a letter from Miss Bennet.

‘She writes that she is coming to London,’ cried Caroline. ‘She will be staying with her aunt and uncle in Gracechurch Street. From the date of her letter, I believe she must already be here.’

‘It is not something I would have wished to happen,’

I said. ‘Bingley seems to have forgotten her. If he sees her again, his admiration might be rekindled.’

‘He does not need to know of her visit,’ Caroline said.

I agreed to this. ‘I doubt they will ever come across each other,’ I said.

‘I think I shall not reply to her letter. She will not be in town long, and she will think only that the letter was lost. Better that, than that she thinks she is not welcome here. She is a sweet girl, and I have no wish to wound her feelings, but my love for my brother runs deeper, and I must do what I can to save him from an unsuitable match.’

I applaud her sentiments, but I find I am not easy in my mind. Anything devious or underhand is abhorrent to me. But Caroline is right. We cannot allow Bingley to sacrifice his life on the altar of a vulgar family, and it is but a small deception after all.

Monday 6th January

Georgiana is developing just as I could wish. Her accomplishments, her deportment, her manners are all those I like to see. I did not know how to proceed when she was left in my care, but I flatter myself she is turning into the young woman my mother would wish her to be.

Tuesday 7th January