Journeys into the bright world

Since my first samadhi session I have undergone some significant personal changes. My personality is quieter. Loud music is just noise now. I prefer soft sounds and am more receptive to psychic communication. My overall assessment of interpersonal exchanges is far more accurate. Even though I can instantly recognize hostility in people I know why they are carrying it around and am not defensive about it.

My dietary problem is also coming into perspective. One day I had a flash which in an instant showed me why I have always been fighting my weight. The mistake has been in my mental processes regarding food. Now I am losing weight without any real effort and friends have started to comment on how much better I look. I am eating less these days and it is wonderful. I feel freed.

Samadhi therapy is a gift of the gods. It is overwhelmingly gentle and loving. For me it has opened doors, clarified my life's purpose and given me new hope for the future.

Gerri Schober

I drove to Marcia's that morning eagerly looking forward to experiencing insight into a previous lifetime and wondering if I might discover instances of interactions between myself, my husband and my son. Along with my eagerness there drifted an apprehension. I was not a good hypnotic subject; perhaps I would fail today and not accomplish what others had. I thoroughly believed in reincarnation, in the capacity of the mind to regress to all sorts of past remembrances and in the ability of the higher self to guide the individual into experiencing what he needs the most. However, was this true for me?

After the ketamine was administered I drifted into a delightful state of relaxation and serenity. I was aware of wanting something to happen and recall telling Marcia that I wanted "It" to occur, whatever "It" might be. She gently reassured me that my own psyche would guide me into experiencing whatever I needed at this time. I was not to try to program the experience.

I became aware of being enclosed within tall walls. Light was shining through at the top where no ceiling barricaded its entry. I recall discussing with Marcia that I had put a wall of defenses around me so that others, and perhaps myself, could not really see the true me. Perhaps I might not like what I would see. She reassured me that this is a common concern and I soon drifted into a deeper sense of "wellness." The walls faded away, exposing magnificent rays of light, colors that gracefully moved across the pathways, only to be replaced by others. I was overwhelmed with a sense of peace and contentment. Nothing here could disturb me. I was truly experiencing the calm of the soul uninhibited by the barriers placed there when we lock ourselves within our human shells.

I spoke very little, simply relishing the contentment of the moment, but with an occasional sense that I should somehow be sharing this with Marcia, who I knew was quietly and patiently sitting close by. My words became apologetic. I did not see any particular forms or receive any thought patterns that I could put into words. Marcia again reassured me. My inner self knew what I needed. She sensed that I had a need at this time to bathe fully in the light, to relish this moment that I would be able to recall in future meditations.

She asked me what it would be like if I could let down all my defenses. "I would feel just like this," I said. "Free. Free to be me. Just being and not doing."

Marcia's words were again reassuring. "Perhaps that's what you need to learn: that just being something is doing something. In other words, that being is as important as doing. It seems to me that perhaps you value the doing a little more than the being. There is a quality of your being that is going to affect everything you do. The issue is what you are, and how much light you are bringing through."

Oh, how I could see that light! Bright but not blinding. Beautiful, comforting, reassuring. One moment like freshly created snow banks; the next, interlaced with varying shades of colors-colors that slipped quietly and gracefully across the screen. What an extraordinary artist was painting this picture!

It was again Marcia who helped me understand my experience. "It's what your higher self is trying to show you. You see, doing something can be a great defense. But that isn't what we are here for. Maybe what you need is to put more emphasis on the quality of your being and less on the quality of your doing. Imagine what kind of person you would be if you could be in the light like that all the time!

For this moment I possessed a marvelous impression of being completely happy with myself. Of not really doing anything for others, but just being me. I broke the reverie by remarking to Marcia that this was a selfish desire.