Journeys into the bright world

My third experience was some four or five weeks later. I had lost my perspective on my problems and was completely exhausted. Marcia and I retired to a quiet room of the house for the therapy. The first feeling, ten minutes or so after the injection was a quiet calm, a light sense of peace and warmth, and the realization that my fatigue had disappeared. Next came a rush of overwhelming love and gratitude that this help was being given, along with an awed wonderment at the depth of these emotions.

After enjoying this lovingness for a few moments I knew I needed to get to work on some of the problems I needed to consider. After days and weeks of fruitless contemplation I now started to see clearly why these difficulties had arisen. It was obvious where the communication had broken down and how it might be restored. I knew immediately what my course of action should be in order to improve the situation. Later, this knowledge was proven accurate and I was relieved of my indecision.

During this third session I also found that if I concentrated on my third eye I could leave the body and float off into space. But since I didn't want to leave the loving atmosphere with Marcia I decided not to go.

My fourth session was somewhat different from the others inasmuch as we decided to find out if I could go in and out of my body at will. Marcia's friend Isabel Buell, who is naturally clairvoyant, asked if she could sit by me and observe what happened. I lay down in the middle of the livingroom and Marcia covered me with my special blanket. As the injection took effect that wonderful warm feeling began to rush over me. It was like floating but I knew I wasn't yet out of the body.

My eyes were open, my breathing seemed to disappear, and then there was a roar in my head. As my vision changed I could see objects and shapes, but not in precise detail. Isabel said, "You're leaving your body; I can see it." I felt very large, as though I filled the room. I couldn't remember if my eyes were open or if I had closed them but I knew that I was not seeing through my body's eyes. It was so easy to leave this body; I just slid out and then went back in with Isabel confirming that I had reentered. My detailed vision was back and I became aware of my breathing and of Marcia sitting by my side.

I wanted to try it again. I thought about my right eye, heard the roaring sound in my head, and as before my vision changed. "Now you are going out through your right eye." Isabel said. I smiled because that was exactly what I was doing. I had that large feeling again and then slowly returned with Isabel confirming that I was back. It was a thrilling feeling.

I asked Marcia if I could practice once more so that I would become aware of just what it was that I was doing. When she said "Yes," I thought about the end of my nose and went out that way. "Now you're going out through your nose," Isabel said. This gave me confidence that I was accomplishing what I was trying to do. While I was out I felt a strong swirling sensation. Throughout the experience it was wonderful listening to Isabel's description of what my soul looked like to her.

Now, remembering my previous experiences with samadhi therapy I know that I left the body every time. It had all seemed so natural that I just hadn't realized that that was what was happening. It wasn't hard; I just slid in and out. I felt perfectly safe and relaxed and stayed within the confines of the room. It is a beautiful feeling to be in such perfect control and to be aware of the process by which the soul makes the transition to the spiritual world. It is so simple to give up an old or used-up body.

I believe that this kind of stepping aside from the physical form is something which many people could easily practice. Surely the sense of detachment produced would give the terminally ill some profound insights and alleviate many of their fears. There is another complete world over there. We do not give up life; we just go on to a.new place in the universe.

Thinking back over my ketamine sessions it seems to me that one of the most important things I learned is that everything has shape. When we talk our words swirl through the air and flow on out into the cosmos. In samadhi we can see these vibrations and sense their meanings. In this way we can understand exactly what another person is trying to say and can respond appropriately. Now as I deliberately work to develop this deeper awareness it becomes easier to smooth out my human relationships.

Samadhi also creates a state of telepathic rapport. When Marcia and I work together we are so in tune that I can start talking in the middle of a thought and she is with me. It is like carrying on a mental conversation and then just moving on into the vocal equivalent without explanation and never losing the thought.