Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

MOANING MYRTLE swoops down onto SCORPIUS.

MOANING MYRTLE: What did you call me? Do I moan? Am I moaning now? AM I? AM I?

SCORPIUS: No, I didn’t mean . . .

MOANING MYRTLE: What’s my name?

SCORPIUS: Myrtle.

MOANING MYRTLE: Exactly — Myrtle. Myrtle Elizabeth Warren — a pretty name — my name — no need for the moaning.

SCORPIUS: Well . . .

MOANING MYRTLE (she giggles): It’s been a while. Boys. In my bathroom. In my girls’ bathroom. Well, that’s not right . . . But then again, I always did have a soft spot for the Potters. And I was moderately partial to a Malfoy too. Now how can I help you pair?

ALBUS: You were there, Myrtle — in the lake. They wrote about you. There must be a way out of these pipes.

MOANING MYRTLE: I’ve been everywhere. But where specifically were you thinking?

ALBUS: The second task. The lake task. In the Triwizard Tournament. Twenty-five years ago. Harry and Cedric.

MOANING MYRTLE: Such a shame the pretty one had to die. Not that your father is not pretty — but Cedric Diggory — you’d be amazed at how many girls I had to hear doing love incantations in this very bathroom . . . And the weeping after he was taken.

ALBUS: Help us, Myrtle, help us get into that same lake.

MOANING MYRTLE: You think I can help you travel in time?

ALBUS: We need you to keep a secret.

MOANING MYRTLE: I love secrets. I won’t tell a soul. Cross my heart and hope to die. Or — the equivalent. For ghosts. You know.

ALBUS nods at SCORPIUS, who reveals the Time-Turner.

ALBUS: We can travel in time. You’re going to help us travel the pipes. We’re going to save Cedric Diggory.

MOANING MYRTLE (grins): Well, that sounds like fun.

ALBUS: And we’ve no time to lose.

MOANING MYRTLE: This very sink. This very sink empties directly into the lake. It breaks every bylaw but this school has always been antiquated. Dive in and you will be piped straight to it.

ALBUS pulls himself into the sink, dumping his cloak as he does. SCORPIUS copies.

ALBUS hands SCORPIUS some green foliage in a bag.

ALBUS: Some for me and some for you.

SCORPIUS: Gillyweed? We’re using gillyweed? To breathe underwater?

ALBUS: Just like my dad did. Now, are you ready?

SCORPIUS: Remember, this time we can’t be caught out by the clock . . .

ALBUS: Five minutes, that’s all we allow for — before we get pulled back to the present.

SCORPIUS: Tell me this is all going to be okay.

ALBUS (grinning): It’s all going to be entirely okay. Are you ready?

ALBUS takes the gillyweed and disappears down.

SCORPIUS: No, Albus — Albus —

He looks up, he and MOANING MYRTLE are alone.

MOANING MYRTLE: I do like brave boys.

SCORPIUS (a little bit scared, a tiny bit brave): Then I’m entirely ready. For whatever comes.

He takes the gillyweed and disappears down.

MOANING MYRTLE is left alone onstage.

There is a giant whoosh of light and smash of noise. And time stops. And then it turns over, thinks a bit, and begins spooling backwards . . .

The boys are gone.

HARRY appears at a run, a deep frown on his face, behind him DRACO, GINNY, and PROFESSOR McGONAGALL.

HARRY: Albus . . . Albus . . .

GINNY: He’s gone.

They find the boys’ cloaks on the ground.

PROFESSOR McGONAGALL (consulting the map): He’s disappeared. No, he’s traveling under Hogwarts grounds, no, he’s disappeared . . .

DRACO: How is he doing this?

MOANING MYRTLE: He’s using a rather pretty trinket thingy.

HARRY: Myrtle!

MOANING MYRTLE: Oops, you caught me. And I was trying so hard to hide. Hello, Harry. Hello, Draco. Have you been bad boys again?

HARRY: What trinket is he using?

MOANING MYRTLE: I think it was a secret, but I could never keep anything from you, Harry. How is it you’ve grown handsomer and handsomer as you’ve aged? And you’re taller.

HARRY: My son is in danger. I need your help. What are they doing, Myrtle?

MOANING MYRTLE: He’s after saving a dishy boy. A certain Cedric Diggory.

HARRY immediately realizes what’s happened, and is horrified.

PROFESSOR McGONAGALL: But Cedric Diggory died years ago . . .

MOANING MYRTLE: He seemed quite confident he could get around that fact. He’s very confident, Harry, just like you.

HARRY: He heard me talking — to Amos Diggory . . . could he have . . . the Ministry’s Time-Turner. No, that’s impossible.