Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

HARRY: And why — why did you run? Because of me? Because of what I said?

ALBUS: I don’t know. Hogwarts isn’t actually that pleasant a place when you don’t fit in.

HARRY: And did Scorpius — encourage you to — go?

ALBUS: Scorpius? No.

HARRY looks at ALBUS, trying to see almost an aura around him, thinking deeply.

HARRY: I need you to stay away from Scorpius Malfoy.

ALBUS: What? Scorpius?

HARRY: I don’t know how you became friends in the first place, but you did, and now — I need you to —

ALBUS: My best friend? My only friend?

HARRY: He’s dangerous.

ALBUS: Scorpius? Dangerous? Have you met him? Dad, if you honestly think he’s the son of Voldemort . . .

HARRY: I don’t know what he is, I just know you need to stay away from him. Bane told me —

ALBUS: Who’s Bane?

HARRY: A centaur with profound Divination skills. He said there’s a black cloud around you and —

ALBUS: A black cloud?

HARRY: And I have very good reason to believe that Dark Magic is in a resurgence and I need to keep you safe from it. Safe from him. Safe from Scorpius.

ALBUS hesitates a moment, and then his face strengthens.

ALBUS: And if I won’t? Stay away from him?

HARRY looks at his son, thinking quickly.

HARRY: There’s a map. It used to be used for those wanting to get up to no good. Now we’re going to use it to keep an eye — a permanent eye — on you. Professor McGonagall will watch your every movement. Any time you are seen together — she’ll come flying — any time you attempt to leave Hogwarts — she’ll fly. I expect you to go to your lessons — none of which you will now share with Scorpius, and between times, you will stay in the Gryffindor common room!

ALBUS: You can’t make me go into Gryffindor! I’m Slytherin!

HARRY: Don’t play games, Albus, you know what House you are. If she finds you with Scorpius, I will fix you with a spell which will allow me eyes and ears into your every movement, your every conversation. In the meantime, investigations will begin in my department as to his true heritage.

ALBUS (starting to cry): But, Dad — you can’t — that’s just not . . .

HARRY: I thought for a long time I wasn’t a good enough dad for you because you didn’t like me. It’s only now I realize that I don’t need you to like me, I need you to obey me because I’m your dad and I do know better. I’m sorry, Albus. It has to be this way.

ACT TWO, SCENE NINE

HOGWARTS, STAIRCASE

ALBUS pursues HARRY across the stage.

ALBUS: What if I run? I’ll run.

HARRY: Albus, get back in bed.

ALBUS: I’ll run away again.

HARRY: No. You won’t.

ALBUS: I will — and this time I’ll make sure Ron can’t find us.

RON: Do I hear my name?

RON enters on a staircase, his side parting now super-aggressive, his robes just a little bit too short, his clothes now spectacularly staid.

ALBUS: Uncle Ron! Thank Dumbledore. If ever we needed one of your jokes it’s now . . .

RON frowns, confused.

RON: Jokes? I don’t know any jokes.

ALBUS: Of course you do. You run a joke shop.

RON (now supremely confused): A joke shop? Well now. Anyway I’m pleased I caught you. I was going to bring some sweets — for a, uh, sort of, a, get well soon, but, uh . . . Actually Padma — she thinks about things a lot more — deeply — than I do — and she thought it’d be nicer for you to get something useful for school. So we got you a — set of quills. Yes. Yes. Yes. Look at these bad boys. Top of the range.

ALBUS: Who’s Padma?

HARRY frowns at ALBUS.

HARRY: Your aunt.

ALBUS: I have an Aunt Padma?

RON (to HARRY): Taken a Confundus Charm to the head, has he? (To ALBUS.) My wife, Padma. You remember. Talks slightly too close to your face, smells a bit minty. (Leans in.) Padma, mother of Panju! (To HARRY.) That’s why I’m here, of course. Panju. He’s in trouble again. I wanted to just send a Howler but Padma insisted I come in person. I don’t know why. He just laughs at me.

ALBUS: But . . . you’re married to Hermione.

Beat. RON doesn’t understand this at all.

RON: Hermione. No. Nooooo. Merlin’s beard.

HARRY: Albus has also forgotten that he was sorted into Gryffindor. Conveniently.

RON: Yes, well, sorry, old chap, but you’re a Gryffindor.

ALBUS: But how did I get sorted into Gryffindor?

RON: You persuaded the Sorting Hat, don’t you remember? Panju bet you that you couldn’t get into Gryffindor if your life depended on it, so you chose Gryffindor to spite him. I can’t blame you, (dry) we’d all like to wipe the smile off his face sometimes, wouldn’t we? (Terrified.) Please don’t tell Padma I said that.

ALBUS: Who’s Panju?