Gossamer Cord

When we left the Dorringtons we went to stay for a few more days in Edward’s house. My mother was often out with Mrs. Dorrington. I did not accompany them and she did not suggest it. I knew she wanted to get my birthday present and it would be a secret.

I spent a good deal of time with Gretchen and we had some talks together.

It was no use pretending that her anxieties did not exist, and I raised the subject of her family.

She said life did not improve. In fact it grew worse. She heard from them now and then and, though they always said that everything was all right, she knew differently. They lived in perpetual fear.

“All the young men are joining the Nazi Party. They march through the town. They are everywhere. It is fortunate that my family are in a rather remote spot, and any day they cannot be sure what will happen.”

“Gretchen, do you think they should try to get out?”

“They are not in a position to do that. They would lose everything. Can you tear up your roots? Not when they have been there so long. Edward says we shall go over next summer. But I do not know. There is change everywhere. They do not tell me all, but I know they are afraid. They do not want me to worry. They say all is well. I am so fearful for them.”

I was trying to think of that horrifying experience which I knew I should never forget. The terrible blustering indifference to human suffering…the sheer terror and hopelessness I had seen in faces that night. It made me despair that human beings could show such careless delight in the sufferings of others. And for what reason? I could have understood anger at some outrageous act, but this senseless persecution because of the hatred of one race for another was beyond my comprehension. What sort of people were they who could behave like this?

I felt sickened with anger and despair every time I thought of what I had seen that night.

“There is something I have to tell you, Violetta,” said Gretchen.

“Yes?”

“I am going to have a baby.”

I hugged her. I was so happy for her. This, with her love for Edward, could compensate her in some degree for the anxiety she suffered through her family.

My parents and I traveled down to Cornwall for the birthday celebrations. It would only be a brief visit, for my mother and I would come again in November when we should stay until the baby was born. My mother would want to assure herself that everything was in order before she left; it was possible that I would stay on for a while. We had not yet made plans for Christmas, but it seemed likely that we should spend it in Cornwall as the idea that we should not be with Dorabella was unthinkable, and the baby would be too young to travel at such a time.

Dorabella showed her delight in seeing us and seemed very well. She hugged me and said: “You’ve no idea how I have missed you. It is just not right…our not being together. How can people cast off a habit of a lifetime?”

She spoke with a certain earnestness which was unusual with her; and the thought flashed into my mind that she might be, well, not exactly regretting the choice she had made, but perhaps questioning it. Yet Dermot was devoted and they seemed very affectionate toward each other. Perhaps being pregnant had an effect on her.

She embraced our parents with great fervor and it was really wonderful to be together again.

“It is only another month to go now,” said my mother. “Then you will find it has all been so worthwhile.”

“And you are only staying a week!”

“Well, we shall be down again in less than a month.”

When she saw the miniature she was overcome with delight.

“But it is beautiful!” she cried. “And it is mine. I love it. It will be almost like having you with me. I shall never, never part with it.”

She studied it closely. “It is clever. It’s lovely. Mind you, it flatters you a little.”

“Thank you for your sisterly candor,” I retorted.

“Well, it does. It is not exactly a raving beauty, but it is interesting…like the Mona Lisa.”

“Good Heavens!” I cried. “I never cared for that Gioconda smile.”

“I don’t mean you look like her. You look like yourself. But…it’s beautiful.”

“The compliments grow every minute.”

She laughed. “It is so good to have you here, Vee,” she said sincerely, and there were tears in her eyes. “I’ve missed you. You can’t know how I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too,” I told her.

“It’s not right that we should be apart. We’ve been together right from the beginning of our existence. We ought never to have been separated. We are really part of each other. You ought to marry some nice Cornishman and live here with me. Nothing else will please me. You have a chance. There is that Jermyn man. That would be fun. And the feud and all that. Perhaps Gordon? But I prefer the Jermyn.”

“All very funny,” I said.

“And you have been gadding about in London, I hear. I am told that Edward’s friend Richard is very charming. You went to the opera…”

“We all went.”

“Traviata. Our dear Mama looks just a little cosy about Richard’s choice of Traviata.”