Glimmering

“No thanks, Mrs. Iverson.” Jule’s big hands twisted his fedora. His hazel eyes were moist with supplication. “Jackie?”

No thanks, Mr. Gardino, thought Jack. But then the chorus began shrilling in his head. What, you jumped off all those bridges for Leonard Thrope, now you can’t get into a car with your best friend?

But he’s drunk. He’s—

“Go ahead, dear,” said Keeley. She turned to Jule. “But you’ll have him back by tonight?”

Jack swore under his breath; as though he were still fifteen fucking years old. “I’ll be back by tonight, Grandmother,” he said. His eyes sought Jule’s. “This better be good, Julie.”

“Mary Anne is asleep.” Mrs. Iverson looked plaintively at Jule. “Don’t you think Emma could come down to help her have the baby?”

Jule smiled. “That would be nice, huh? I know she’d like to…”

“Well.” Keeley smiled bravely. “You’d better go, if you’re going to be back by dark.”

Jack stood, trying to think of some last-minute excuse. “It’s just a few hours,” pleaded Jule.

“Oh, all right,” Jack said, crossly. “Just let me get a few things, okay?”

He went upstairs, fighting all the fears that assailed him—Jule’s obvious distress and the thought of leaving his grandmother alone, not to mention the girl, she could have the baby any minute—but also feeling something he hadn’t felt in years. He was going to the city with his friend. They would have an adventure. He grabbed the Fusax from his nightstand, did a quick blast from his inhaler—it was empty, he was sure of it, but prayed there might be a few bronchio-dilating atoms left to fight their way into his lungs—pulled his grandfather’s old Burberry raincoat from the closet, and went back down. On the second floor he paused to glance into Marz’s bedroom, her leviathan form beneath the blankets, white-blond hair across the pillow.

“’Bye,” he whispered, and shut the door.

They made their farewells to Keeley and Mrs. Iverson.

“Drive carefully.” The faintest tremor entered Keeley’s voice. “You’ll call if you’re going to be late?”

Jack glared at Jule. “We won’t be late.”

“Of course not,” Jule said. He leaned to kiss Keeley’s forehead, and for a moment held her tenderly. Only Jack noticed that his hands were trembling. “I promise Jackie’ll be back tonight. It’s just a quick trip into the city, people do it all the time.”

“Do they?” Keeley murmured. “Well, be careful, boys.”

“Get back in there!” shouted Jack. “Before you catch cold.”

He had a glimpse of Keeley’s white face and waving hand; then the oaken door slammed shut.

“ Now,” said Jack, following his friend to the car. “Will you tell me what the fuck is going on? Where’s Emma?”

“I told you. She’s not feeling so good,” Jule said shortly, then fiddled with his door. “And, well, I got to take a little road trip, and I thought maybe you might want to come with me.”

“Why would I want to do that?”

“Because you’re becoming a fucking agoraphobic, that’s why. I think so, and Emma thinks so—”

“Emma thinks I should get in a car with you?”

“Oh for Christ’s sake! You’ve been in a car with me a hundred thousand times—”

“Jule, you’re drunk.”

Jule looked hurt. “You used to drive with me when I was drunk.”

“Oh, forget it. Look, Jule, why don’t I try calling someone—”

“Fuck you.” Jule’s tone was even. He smiled affably, pulling the door open and easing his bulk into the seat. “Just get in the fucking car, Jackie. You know, Emma tried to have a, a what-you-call-it—an intervention. Because I’m an alcoholic. Ha! Like where the fuck they gonna lock me up? Her and some people we know at home, this guy from the hospital and Edgar Evans.” Edgar was senior partner at Jule’s old law firm. “You know what I did?”

He stopped and fixed Jack with a challenging gaze. Jack stared back, holding open the passenger door. “No. What did you do?”

“I belted him. Edgar. Laid him out right on the floor of the fucking kitchen. I would have hit someone else, too, but there were four of them, counting Emma, and only one of me.” He leaned across the seat and stared up at Jack. “I told them, and I’ll tell you, Jackie—

“I do this by choice. By choice. I may be an alcoholic but I have my reasons. You understand, Jackie?”

“I don’t think it’s that we don’t understand, Jule, everyone understands—”

“You do not. You do not have the slightest fucking intimation of an idea.” Jule’s voice was calm. “Something’s happened to me, Jackie, something very strange. Maybe someday I’ll tell you about it.”

He thumped the car seat and laughed. “Maybe even today. Maybe that’s why I came here to get you! Ever think of that?”

Jack took a step backward. “Look, I’d love to go with you, Jule, but—you know, I’m thinking about this now, and I really shouldn’t leave Grandmother alone, or—”

“Don’t sweat it.” Jule grabbed Jack’s arm and yanked him into the car, then pulled the door shut after him. “Here, look at this, Jackie—”