Cryptonomicon

"It takes all kinds of special equipment, and a special room. This room has not yet been constructed. So, you know how many people we have on death row now?"

"I can't imagine."

"More than two hundred and fifty. Even if the room were built tomorrow, most of them could not be executed, because it is illegal to carry out the execution until one year has passed since the final appeal."

"Well, wait a minute! If you've lost your final appeal, then why wait a whole year?"

Attorney Alejandro shrugs.

"In America, they usually do the final appeal while the prisoner is lying strapped to the table with the needle in his arm."

"Maybe they wait in case there is a miracle during that year. We are a very religious people--even some of the death row prisoners are very religious. But they are now begging to be executed. They cannot stand the wait any longer!" Attorney Alejandro laughs and slaps the table. "Now, Randy, all of these two hundred and fifty people are poor. All of them." He stops significantly.

"I hear you," Randy says. "Did you know that my net worth is less than zero, by the way?"

"Yes, but you are rich in friends and connections." Attorney Alejandro starts frisking himself. A picture of a fresh pack of Marlboros appears over his head in a little thought-balloon. "I recently received a telephone call from a friend of yours in Seattle."

"Chester?"

"Yes, he's the one. He has money."

"You could say that."

"Chester is seeking ways to put his financial resources to work on your behalf. He feels frustrated and unsure of himself because while his resources are quite significant, he does not know the fine points of how to wield them in the context of the Philippine judicial system."

"That's him all over. Is there any chance that you might be able to give him some pointers?"

"I'll talk to him."

"Let me ask you this," Randy says. "I understand that financial resources, wielded properly, could free me. But what if some rich person wanted to use his money to send me to death row?"

This one stops Attorney Alejandro dead for a minute. "There are more efficient ways for a wealthy person to kill someone. For the reasons I have described, a would-be assassin would first look somewhere outside of the Philippine capital-punishment apparatus. That is why, in my opinion as your lawyer, what is really going on here is that--"

"Someone is trying to send me a message."

"Exactly. You see, now you are beginning to understand."

"Well, I'm wondering if you could give me a ballpark estimate of how long I'm going to be locked up. I mean, do you want me to plead to a lesser charge and then serve a few years?"

Attorney Alejandro looks pained and scoffs. He doesn't deign to answer. "I didn't think so," says Randy. "But at what point in these proceedings do you imagine I could get out? I mean, they refused to release me on bail."

"Of course! You are charged with a capital crime! Even though every one knows it is a joke, proper respect must be shown."

"They pulled the planted drugs out of my bag--there are a million witnesses. It was a drug, right?"

"Malaysian heroin. Very pure," Attorney Alejandro says admiringly.

"So there are all of these people who can testify that a sack of heroin was found in my luggage. That would seem to complicate the job of getting me out of jail."

"We can probably get it dismissed before an actual trial is launched, by pointing out flaws in the evidence," Attorney Alejandro says. Something in his tone of voice, and the way he's staring out the window, suggests this is the first time he's actually thought about how he's going to specifically attack this problem. "Perhaps a baggage handler at NAIA will step forward and testify that he saw a shadowy figure planting the drugs in your bag."

"A shadowy figure?"

"Yesss," says Attorney Alejandro irritably, anticipating sarcasm.

"Are there a lot of those hanging around backstage at NAIA?"

"We don't need a lot."

"How much time do you think might pass before this baggage handler's conscience finally gets the better of him and he decides to step forward?"

Attorney Alejandro shrugs. "A couple of weeks, perhaps. For it to be done properly. How are your accommodations?"

"They suck. But you know what? Nothing really bothers me anymore."

"There is concern among some of the officials of the prison service that when you get out, you may say harsh things about the conditions."

"Since when do they care?"

"You are a little famous in America. Not very famous. A little. Do you remember the American boy in Singapore, who was caned?"

"Of course."

"Very bad publicity for Singapore. So there are officials of the prison service who would be sympathetic to the idea of putting you in a private cell. Clean. Quiet."

Randy cops a questioning look, and holds up one hand and rubs his thumb and fingers together in the "money" gesture.

"It is done already."

"Chester?"

"No. Someone else."

"Avi?"

Attorney Alejandro shakes his head.

"The Shaftoes?"