Cryptonomicon

"Well, that brings me to the breakthrough that Randy and Tom and Geoff and I finally came up with at about two A.M., namely that the perceived economic value of each item, as complicated as that is in and of itself, viz the Knapsack Problem, is only one dimension of the issues that have got us all on such a jagged emotional edge. The other dimension--and here I really do mean dimension in a Euclidean geometry sense--is the emotional value of each item. That is, in theory we could come up with a division of the set of all pieces of furniture that would give you, Nina, an equal share. But such a division might leave you, love, just deeply, deeply unsatisfied because you didn't get that console, which, though it's obviously not as valuable as say the grand piano, has much greater emotional value to you.

"I don't think it's out of the question that I would commit physical violence in order to defend my rightful ownership of that console," Aunt Nina says, suddenly reverting to a kind of dead-voiced frigid calm.

"But that's not necessary, Nina, because we have created this whole setup here just so that you can give your feelings the full expression they deserve!"

"Okay. What do I do?" Aunt Nina says, bolting from the car. Randy and Uncle Red hastily gather up their gloves and mittens and hats and follow her out. She is now hovering over the console, watching the dust of ice swirl across the dark but limpid, virtually glowing surface of the console in the turbulent wake of her body, forming little Mandelbrotian epi-epi-epi-vortices.

"As Geoff and Anne did before us, and the others will do afterwards, we are going to move each of these items to a specific position, as in (x, y) coordinates, in the parking lots. The x axis runs this way," Uncle Red says, facing the Waterhouse House and holding his arms out in a cruciform attitude, "and the y axis this way." He toddles around ninety degrees so that one of his hands is now pointing at the Shaftoes' Impala. "Perceived financial value is measured by x. The farther in that direction it is, the more valuable you think it is. You might even assign something a negative x value if you think it has negative value--e.g., that over stuffed chair over there--which might cost more to re-upholster than it is actually worth. Likewise, the y axis measures perceived emotional value. Now, we have established that the console has extreme emotional value to you and so I think that we can just go right ahead and move it down the line over to where the Impala is located."

"Can something have negative emotional value?" Aunt Nina says, sourly and probably rhetorically.

"If you hate it so much that just owning it would cancel out the emotional benefits of having something like the console, then yes, Uncle Red says.

Randy hoists the console onto his shoulder and begins to walk in a positive y direction. The Shaftoe boys are available to hump furniture at a moment's notice, but Randy needs to mark a bit of territory here, just to indicate that he is not without some masculine attributes himself and so he ends up carrying more furniture than he probably needs to. Back at the Origin, he can hear Red and Nina going at it. "I have a problem with this," Nina says. "What's to prevent her from just putting every thing down at the extreme y axis--claiming that everything is terribly emotionally important to her?" Herin this case can only mean Aunt Rachel, the wife of Tom. Rachel is a multiethnic East Coast urbanite who is not blessed or afflicted with the obligatory Waterhousian diffidence and so has always been regarded as a sort of living incarnation of rapacity, a sucking maw of need. The worst-case scenario here is that Rachel somehow goes home with everything--thegrand piano, the silver, the china, the Gomer Bolstrood dining room set. Hence the need for elaborate rules and rituals, and a booty division system that is mathematically provable as fair.

"That's where [tau sub e] and [tau sub $] enter into it," Uncle Red says soothingly.

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"All of our choices will be mathematically scaled so that they add up to the same total values on both the emotional and financial scales. So if someone clumped everything together in the extreme corner, then, after scaling, it'd be as if they never expressed any preferences at all."