Big Trouble

When Monica shoved her way through the front door of the Herk home, Anna staggered back a step. Monica quickly brushed past her, not sure what she was looking for. Suddenly, she stopped.

Two steps behind, Walter, surprised by Monica's decision to force her way in, was saying, "Jesus, Monica, what're you ... " Then he stopped, too, because he saw what Monica was seeing: Snake, standing just beyond Anna, at the entrance to the living room, aiming a gun at them. It looked to Walter like a .45.

"I'll kill you both," Snake said. "Swear to God, you gimme one excuse, I'll fuckin' kill you both right now."

Monica said, "We're not gonna ... "

"Shut up!" said Snake. "Just shut up an' put up them hands. Eddie! Get in here."

Eddie came around the corner and saw the two police officers, with their hands up.

"Oh Jesus, Snake," he said.

"Shut up, goddammit," said Snake. "Just do like I say. Close the door and get their guns and bring 'em here."

Eddie closed the door, then went to Monica, unsnapped her belt holster, and took the Clock 40. It felt heavy in his hand. Next he got Walter's gun. Walter, his arms in the air, tensed his biceps and gave Eddie a hard-ass stare, but Eddie didn't meet his eyes.

Eddie, carrying the cops' Clocks as though they were rabid weasels, brought them over to Snake, who stuck one in each of his pockets. He was feeling very confident now; he had three magic wands. The cops had been a surprise, but he'd handled it, hadn't he? He had a new plan now, and he was feeling good about it, seeing in his mind the moves he would make.

Snake waved Anna and the two police officers toward the living room. "Everybody in here," he said.

"You're making a mistake," said Monica.

"Only mistake will be if you open your fuckin' mouth again, lady cop," said Snake. "Lady cops bleed just as good as man cops." He liked the way that came out. It sounded like something a kingpin would say.

When everybody was in the living room, Snake said, "Lady cop, I want you to take muscle boy's handcuffs and cuff him to ... to that thing there."

He gestured toward a massive entertainment unit, eight feet high and eight feet wide, made of steel

 tubes. Its shelves held a stereo system, some decorative vases, and a framed picture of Anna and Jenny.

Monica took Walter's handcuffs from the case on his belt. She snapped one end around Walter's left wrist and the other to one of the vertical steel tubes on the entertainment unit.

"Make it tighter on his wrist," said Snake.

Monica, giving Walter a look that said sorry, made it tighter.

"Now toss me the keys," said Snake.

Monica got Walter's keys and tossed them to Snake.

"Now, lady cop," said Snake, "I want you take your cuffs and cuff this asshole here"—he gestured at Arthur—"to the other end of that thing, nice and tight." Snake had decided that the kingpin and the muscle cop were the biggest threats in the room; the rest were just punks and women.

Monica handcuffed Arthur to the other end of the entertainment unit.

"Now gimme the keys," said Snake. He liked telling the lady cop what to do.

Monica tossed the keys.

"Now," said Snake, pointing the gun straight at Monica's face, "take off your cop shirt and show me your titties."

Monica looked at the gun.

"C'mon, lady cop," Snake said. "Looks like you got a nice pair under there."

 Monica forced her eyes to leave the gun and look at Snake.

"Fuck you," she said.

Snake stared at her down the gun barrel for a long moment. Finally, he said, "Maybe later." Then, to Eddie, he said, "Finish tyin' up the punk"—he pointed at Matt—"and then tie up the lady cop and this lady." He pointed at Anna.

"What about them two?" asked Eddie, pointing to Puggy and Jenny.

"I got plans for them two," said Snake, looking at Jenny.

Eddie got the telephone cords and went to work. He really wanted some guidance on the knots, but he decided this was not the time to ask, seeing as how Snake now had three guns and had gone, as far as Eddie could tell, completely batshit. So he did the best he could, wrapping the prisoners' wrists in tangled, semi-random snarls.

When Eddie was done, Snake checked the wrists one at a time. The knots were ugly, but the cords were tight. Satisfied, he went over to Arthur and said, "Where's the money?"

"What money?" said Arthur.

With his good leg, Snake kneed Arthur hard in the balls. Arthur howled and bent over, his cuffed arm yanking the heavy entertainment unit, which would have toppled over, had not Walter, at the other end, managed to get it back upright.

"Where's the fuckin' money?" said Snake, cocking his leg again.

"In my pocket," gasped Arthur, weeping from the pain in his groin. "It's in my pocket! Don't kick me again!"

"Take it outta your pocket," said Snake.