Agatha H and the Voice of the Castle

Agatha brightened. “That’s true. And as I repair the fragmentation, we’ll gain more and more ground. We’ll have Pinky and her thugs out of here in no time! And when I’ve got the whole thing running, the Baron will have to talk to me. Maybe I can finally convince him that I’m not a threat.”

Moloch goggled at her. “Not a threat?” he asked incredulously. “Are you serious?”

“Well, of course. I don’t want any more trouble with him.”

“I don’t think he’s gonna believe that.” He glanced upwards. “I think he’s gonna be pretty mad, actually.”

“Mad? Mad about what?” She thought for a minute, and a nasty suspicion grew to a certainty. Agatha addressed the Castle. “What did you do?!”

Moloch was looking at the sky and Agatha followed his gaze.

In the Northern sky, Castle Wulfenbach was fighting for its life. Patches of the great airship were burning. Squads of firefighter dirigibles hovered nearby, pumping streams of water and carbon dioxide foam, even while they themselves were trying to fight off attackers. Hundreds of torchmen still swooped and darted throughout the fleet, wreaking havoc indiscriminately. The flares and explosions were reflected off of the growing cloud of smoke that filled the night sky.

Castle Wulfenbach was already moving off as quickly as possible, but speed had never been part of its design specifications.

“I only did what you told me to do,” the Castle responded, in a hurt tone of voice.

“You’re attacking Castle Wulfenbach?!” Agatha screamed. I did NOT tell you to do that!”

“Of course you did.”

The pain in her hand receded quickly as the great ivory jaws relaxed. “Welcome home, my lady,” the Castle said, a tone of deference and relief in its voice. “How may I serve you?”

Agatha spared a moment to look at the injury on her hand. Apparently the Castle had been able to examine her blood and from that had determined that she was a legitimate member of the family. Fascinating.

She looked up. “So—that’s it? I’m the Heterodyne now?”

“That appears to be so. Yes.”

“I guess I expected something a bit more…I don’t know…dramatic.” She paused as she realized what she was talking to. “Not that I’m complaining, mind.”

“Yes, well,” the Castle conceded, “ordinarily, when a new Heterodyne assumes control of the town, the Doom Bell rings, there’s a quaint little ceremony in the Red Cathedral, the populace parades about singing folk songs, and the princes of Europa offer you tribute and beg you not to plunder their lands.”

Agatha nodded. “Sounds nice, but I don’t think we have the time—”

The Castle interrupted. “But right now, I can’t even kill the usurper for you! I am broken! She isn’t even in an area where I can perceive her. Forgive me!”

“Uh—I don’t think you need to kill her.”

“YES I DO!”

Agatha sighed. “No, you don’t. Just keep her away from me. If she comes where you can get her, just try to contain her. Once you’re fully repaired, she won’t be much of a threat anyway. Seriously, I just wish I could chase her stupid pink airship out of here—

“Really?” the Castle interrupted eagerly. “I can do that. I can keep all your enemies out of Mechanicsburg airspace.”

Agatha nodded. “There you go! That would make me very happy!”

“It is an enemy airship in Mechanicsburg airspace. I am merely following your wishes,” the Castle continued.