Agatha H and the Voice of the Castle

The effect was only emphasized by the ubiquitous red lights. The majority of the group stepped carefully, nervous about the traps that were supposed to be everywhere. The only exceptions were Gil, who was stomping furiously on ahead of the rest of the group, and Airman Higgs, who was apparently taking his order to stay by Gil’s side as literally as possible.

Higgs spoke up. “Um…sir? I would like to point out that we are now inside Castle Heterodyne? A hideous uncontrolled engine of death?”

Gil scowled. “Now you’re just trying to cheer me up. Well, it won’t work. I’m still mad.”

But Gil realized that he might be leading the loyal airman into danger and the thought brought him up short. He allowed the others to catch up and they proceeded more cautiously.

Zeetha caught him in a friendly headlock. She laughed. “Aww, you are so cute. Relax. Agatha is a smart girl. She’ll be mad at me.” Gil considered this. Zeetha continued, “And if she is mad at you, think of all the fun you’ll have making up.”

Gil growled at her. “I want you to know that, although I currently hate my life, I hate all of you more.”

“Aw! So grumpy!” Zeetha rubbed his untidy hair with one fist and then allowed him to spin away from her. He harrumphed and again strode forward. Higgs scurried to keep up.

They heard a gasp from the doorway in front of them.

“Gil? Is that you?”

High above Mechanicsburg, the last of the Torchmen were beating their way back to their lampposts. Two of the last were working very hard. They had responded to signals while attacking Castle Wulfenbach, and the protocols had checked out. A passenger had been transferred to their care. They had actually been on their way back to the twinkling lights of Mechanicsburg with their new burden while the rest of the flock had still been driving the great airship and its attendant fleet towards the border.

At last the heights of Castle Heterodyne were coming into focus. A particular balcony lit up, torches puffing into explosive light one after the other, until a relatively undamaged area was clearly lit.

Wings working furiously, the Torchmen angled for the designated area. Once they were close enough, a great wood and iron door squealed ponderously open.

“Ah,” the Castle said. “You’ve returned.”

Their passenger, a tall woman sheathed in black leather adorned with a profusion of straps and buckles revealed her needle sharp teeth. Once they were over the balcony, she released her hold upon the strap held by the Torchmen and effortlessly dropped to the balcony. The clanks flapped off. She didn’t bother to watch them go.

“Of course I’ve returned,” Mistress Von Pinn hissed. “A Heterodyne has come home.” She glided towards the open door. “And thus, so must I.”

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⁴⁹ Bloodbat (Desmodontinœ Extremum Sanguine Comedenti) An interesting variety of blood-drinking bat said to have been introduced to the Mechanicsburg area by the Black Heterodyne, who discovered them on one of his adventures in the Subterranean Kingdoms. Apparently he was so enchanted by the thought of nature having produced something so dreadful, all by itself, that he wanted to share it with the world.

⁵⁰ Spiderroach (Loxosceles Blattella Stamina Telœ Heterodyne). These creatures, on the other hand, were created by the Red Heterodyne, who was convinced that the works of Nature could always be improved. The Red and Black Heterodynes were brothers who were always involved in philosophical arguments that had horrendous real-world consequences.

⁵¹ Venomous Rafter Toad (Bufo Venenatorum Trabe Heterodyne) Actually, nobody is quite sure where these horrid little amphibians came from. They are only tolerated because they feed almost exclusively on bloodbats and spiderroaches.

⁵² For assorted political reasons, The Baron had acumulated many of the children of various Sparks, rulers and troublemakers throughout the Empire—officially as hostages against their parents’ good behavior. While they stayed on Castle Wulfenbach, he had them educated in political theory, business management, the sciences, the humanities, and charm and deportment. While history has shown that this resulted in an unprecidented sophisticated and well-rounded ruling class, Klaus frankly admitted that he had started the program “to keep them busy and out from underfoot.”

⁵³ Because it was a lamp. The device, which students will find first described in Agatha H. and The Airship City, was apparently looted from Castle Heterodyne, and, in addition to being a lamp, was both an energy source and a device capable of generating a small portable invisibility field. The Heterodynes liked to design mechanisms that had multiple functions, one of which was usually to cause surprise.