Agatha H and the Voice of the Castle

“Oh, that’s really mature—ow!” Gil shouted. He spun and weaved, but when he tossed aside the weapon and faced Zeetha he realized that she was nowhere to be seen. There were just Krosp and Higgs, standing there, gazing upwards wide-eyed. Gil threw himself backwards so that Zeetha’s boots barely missed his head. He continued rolling, avoiding her kicks and lunges, until he doubled back and she sailed past him, giving him enough time to slap a small device onto her back.

Zeetha froze and then frantically tried to reach the small of her back. “What is that?”

“Nothing serious,” Gil said, “Just one of Dr. Prometheus Bunbury’s ‘Jolly Fun Oxidation Enhancers.’ You can buy ’em in any novelty store in Paris. Unless you toss aside those swords, in five seconds, they’re going to go ‘poof’!”

Zeetha glared at him and tossed her swords straight up into the air, where they spun in two glittering arcs. There was indeed a ‘Thoof’ sound, and Zeetha’s clothing disintegrated in a small cloud of dust, fibers, and metal bits that clattered to the ground. The crowd “oooohed” appreciatively. Zeetha’s swords dropped into her outstretched hands.

Gil’s face went scarlet. “…Unless I used the ‘Wacky Weave Destabilizer’ instead, which is possible, since they all look quite similar…but!” He rallied quickly. “Well—um—well, now we’re even. I guess you’re staying behind after all. You can’t go into the Castle like that! A pity the fight was so short, but—” Zeetha’s foot caught him in the side of the head and he slammed into the pavement.

She stood over him laughing. “The Warriors of the Double Guard always train naked, little boy.” She glanced about, “Besides, you wanted a crowd? You’ll get a crowd.” She waved to a group of soldiers, who responded with enthusiastic whistles.

“Not that kind of crowd!” Gil snarled.

Zeetha laughed and kicked him again, sending him sprawling, to the crowd’s delight. “To an entertainer, there’s no such thing as a bad audience.” She sashayed towards him. “Besides what kind of Spark are you if you let something like this distract you?”

“The kind of Spark that lets other people get distracted.”

Without thinking, Zeetha somersaulted backwards, which was why the cage produced by the little device Gil had slid towards her feet snapped shut on empty air.

Gil stared at her in admiration. “You’re fast, I’ll give you that…” A movement at the corner of his eye was all the warning he had. He dodged to one side and again the cage closed on nothing. As he scrambled back, Gil saw that the device had raised itself on a number of thin, spider-like legs. I don’t remember building those, he thought worriedly. In his effort to escape, he ran into something soft.

“What is that thing?” Zeetha demanded.

“Well… It’s a sort of automatic cage-trap…thing. It was supposed to pop up and grab you.”

The device had seen the two of them, and now trundled towards them. “I based it on those little things that Agatha makes,” Gil admitted. “But something seems a bit off.”

The cage mechanism snapped out at the two of them. If they hadn’t moved quickly, it would have trapped them both.

Gil looked down at it from the wall on which he perched. “Interesting. I guess it’ll just keep going until it catches something.”

“Idiot!” Zeetha smacked the back of his head and pointed. “You mean it could try to grab someone in the crowd?”

The device had been staring upwards at the two of them but at Zeetha’s words, it paused, wheeled around and regarded the staring crowd. Its cage mechanism flexed and it moved off towards them.

Gil smacked the back of Zeetha’s head. “Yeah, maybe.” He stood and yelled at the crowd. “Don’t let it get too close!” Unfortunately, the crowd had solidified nicely and things were so entertaining that they were loath to leave.

“Great!” Zeetha leapt towards it, “Can we stop it?”

“It should be easy,” Gil said. Zeetha sliced through the clank’s thin metal arms, then had to leap backwards as several dozen more unfolded and reached for her. Her next swipe cut halfway through one of the thin rods and stuck. She frantically tugged it free a half-second before she would have been trapped. The crowd applauded.

Gil stared. “It’s…it’s learning.”

Krosp spoke up. “Yeah, Agatha’s do that, too. Well done.” Another set of arms unfolded. Several of these were equipped with tips that resembled policemen’s sword-breakers. Zeetha swore and dodged a concerted attack by no less than five of them at once. The crowd cheered.

Gil turned towards Theo and Sleipnir. “A little help here?”

Their eyes lit up. “Really?”

Sleipnir pulled a large sack open and began tossing out devices. “I thought you’d never ask!”

Gil felt a sense of dread as he dodged a series of arms equipped with clasping pinchers.