A Man Without Breath

‘Do you need me to draw you an Euler diagram? The Nazis are in charge of Germany. They kill people who get in their way. The bureau is just window dressing, corporal. And the field police are there to handle the rank and file when they’ve been on the beer – even sometimes when they’ve raped and murdered a couple of Russian girls. But not this. Never this. What you’ve just told me is the best reason I’ve heard so far for me to drop the case altogether. And so, there is no case. Not any more. Not as far as I‘m concerned. In fact, I may never ask another awkward question in this freezing cold, fucked-up Ivan city again.’

‘Then I’ll speak to someone else.’

‘There is no one else.’

‘Listen, two friends and comrades of mine were murdered in cold blood. Their throats were cut like farmyard animals. Whatever they did there was no excuse for that. Friedrich Ribe made a mistake. He should have been subject to military discipline. Even a court martial. But not cold-blooded murder. So maybe I’ll take this somewhere else.’

‘There is nowhere else, you idiot.’

‘To the High Command, in Berlin. To Reichsfuhrer Himmler, perhaps. Think about it. This tape is the evidence that could finish Hitler. When people hear what kind of man is leading them, they won’t want to be led by him. Yes, Himmler might be just the man.’

‘Himmler?’ I laughed. ‘Don’t you get it, bird-brain? No one is going to touch this thing with a bargepole. They’ll sweep this shit into the nearest mousehole and you with it. Not only will you be condemning yourself to a concentration camp, very likely you’ll also be exposing all sorts of other people to danger. Better men than you, perhaps. Suppose Himmler questions Von Kluge. What then? Maybe Von Kluge will think to save his skin by dropping someone else in the crap. Have you thought about that?’

I was thinking of Von Gersdorff’s aristocratic little group of conspirators.

‘Then perhaps the underground movement will be interested in publishing this,’ said Quidde. ‘I heard about this group of people in Munich who’ve been publishing leaflets against the Nazis. Some students. Maybe they could do a leaflet with a transcript of this tape.’

‘For a man who was wise enough to be scared stiff about all this ten minutes ago, you’re showing a remarkably stupid lack of concern for your welfare now. The group of people you were talking about are already dead. They were arrested and executed in February.’

‘Who said I was scared stiff? And who said I care anything about my own welfare? Look, sir, I believe in the future of Germany. And Germany won’t have any kind of future unless someone does something with this tape.’

‘I want a future for Germany just like you do, corporal, but I promise you, this isn’t the way to bring that about.’

‘We’ll see about that,’ said Quidde. He replaced his helmet on his head, tucked the dispatch case under his arm and started to walk away.

I took his arm. ‘No, that’s not good enough,’ I said. ‘I want your word you’ll keep your mouth shut about this. That you’ll destroy that tape.’

‘Are you kidding?’

‘No, I’m not. I’m perfectly serious, corporal. This has gone way beyond a joke, I’m afraid. You’re behaving like a fool. Look, if you’ll only listen to me. Maybe there is someone who would listen to the tape, a colonel in the Abwehr I know, but honestly I don’t think it’s going to make much difference in the short term.’

Quidde sneered his contempt and snatched his arm away and then kept on walking, with me walking after him like a supplicant lover. ‘Then you’re in the way, aren’t you?’ he said.

For a moment I thought about Von Gersdorff and Von Boeselager, Judge Goldsche and Von Dohnanyi, General von Tresckow and Lieutenant Colonel von Schlabrendorff. They might have been effete, even incompetent, but they were about the only opposition there was to Hitler and his gang. So long as these aristocrats were free there was every chance that they might make a successful attempt on the leader’s life. And if Himmler was presented with an excuse to interrogate Field Marshal von Kluge there was always the equal possibility that he might give up Von Gersdorff and the others just to get Himmler off his back.

And if Von Gersdorff was arrested, who might he eventually give up? Me, perhaps?

‘I mean it,’ I said. ‘I want your word that you’ll keep silent, otherwise – otherwise I’ll kill you myself. There’s too much at stake here. You can’t be allowed to risk the lives of some good men who have already tried to kill Hitler and who – God willing – may try to kill him again. That is if they’re allowed an opportunity.’

‘What men? I don’t believe you, Gunther.’

‘Men better placed than you and me to stand a chance of doing it, too. Men who are in and out of the Wolf’s Lair at Rastenburg, and the Werewolf HQ at Vinnitsa. Men from the High Command of the German army.’

‘Fuck you,’ said Quidde, and turned his back on me. ‘And fuck them, too. If they were any good they’d have done it by now.’