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I was surprised as Harold walked onto the stage. He moved slowly as he shuffled to the middle. Harold wasn’t one for putting himself forward – we’d had an awful job trying to persuade him to tell Claire about the Sunday Lunch Club. He wasn’t full of confidence, that was for sure, but even he wanted to be a part of it all.

‘Hello, what’s your name and what are you auditioning for?’ Aleksy asked.

‘You know my name.’

‘Well, yes, but there are others here who might not,’ Claire pointed out.

‘Right, well, I’m Harold, I’m Connie there’s step-grandfather in fact, and I’m auditioning for the part of Santa.’

‘Oh, we didn’t have Santa down on our list, did we?’ Connie asked.

‘It’s a blooming Christmas show. How can you not have Santa?’ Harold boomed.

‘Good point,’ Claire said. ‘How about we close the show with Santa? We could do a song at the end like “We Wish You a Merry Christmas”, and Santa could give out sweets to the audience, like they do in the panto?’

‘I’m not singing,’ Harold said.

‘OK then, but we could get the children on to sing and you could throw sweets or something into the audience,’ Aleksy said. ‘The grand finale.’

‘Oh I like the idea of being the grand finale.’ Harold preened.

‘Right, can you say, Ho, Ho, Ho?’ Connie asked.

‘Ho, Ho, Ho.’ Harold boomed as if he had been practising.

‘Great, thanks. We’ll let you know,’ Aleksy said.

‘Is that it?’ Harold asked.

‘Yes, you were great,’ Claire said, as Harold looked confused and then shuffled off stage.

I had to admit it was getting a bit tedious as I lay on the table. The auditions seemed to be going on forever, and I knew it was important but honestly, there was only so much‘there’s no room at the inn’ I could hear. I thought about taking forty winks, but my eyes widened in horror as the woman who threatened George and I walked onto the stage.

‘My name is Barbara and I am very experienced in stage work. I was part of my old local amateur dramatics society for years. I also used to be a drama teacher,’ she said.

‘Right, well great, thank you. Off you go,’ Claire said.

‘To be or not to be? That is the question …’

‘What is happening?’ Aleksy whispered.

‘It’sHamlet,’ Connie replied.

‘I know that butHamlet is a man and has nothing to do with the Nativity,’ Aleksy added.

Claire shushed them as Barbara was pacing the stage, saying words that I didn’t even begin to understand. Was this a foreign language?

At the end of a very long speech where I really did have trouble keeping my eyes open, she fell down onto the stage and there was silence. Claire, Aleksy, and Connie’s mouths were open wide.

‘Is she dead?’ someone asked from the audience.

‘Make way,’ Vic Goodman said, Heather on his heels. ‘I am trained in first aid.’ He ran onto the stage and started poking Barbara.

‘Get off me. I’m still acting,’ she said, sitting up. I saw Jonathan, Matt, and Tomasz start laughing yet again. Franceska nudged them and told them to stop. Barbara stood up, refusing to let Vic or Heather help her, and then she took a bow.

‘Wow,’ Claire said. ‘That was, well … that was something I have never seen before.’

‘Thank you,’ Barbara said, but I wasn’t sure that it had been a compliment.

‘Right, well, I think we’re done,’ Aleksy said. ‘It’s been great, thank you all for coming and we will make sure everyone has a role in the show because it’s for the community and also to raise money for the Helen Street Shelter. So spread the word.’ Everyone cheered and clapped. Aleksy was really taking charge as he asked everyone to leave numbers and names so he could get in touch and Claire asked anyone who wanted to help backstage to let them know before they left.

Hang on, this wasn’t right. I jumped from the table and went to find Snowball, George, and Hana.

‘Um, do you realise that no one has mentioned us?’ I said.

‘Maybe because you were a judge?’ Hana suggested.

‘I mean, what if they think we don’t want to be in the show?’ George said. ‘After all, I am probably the most experienced here, so they must want us.’

‘I know, maybe we need to show them that we do want to be part of the show,’ I said.

‘How?’ Snowball asked.

‘Quick, on stage before everyone leaves,’ I said. The four of us made our way onto the stage.

‘Meow, meow, come on guys,’ I hissed. ‘Make as much noise as you can.’

‘MEW, MEW, MEW.’ We were a bit like a cats’ choir. The hall fell silent.

‘What is going on?’ Barbara shouted.

‘Well, it seems that the cats want in on the show,’ Jonathan said, and then he, Matt, and Tomasz laughed loudly. I hoped they were laughing with us, not at us.

‘Of course they need to be in the show, Aleksy,’ Franceska said.

‘Oh no, you’re right, Mum. We forgot about them,’ Aleksy said to Claire.

Yes, you did, how could you?

‘Keep going we’re filming this,’ Tommy said, and nudged Charlie. ‘This will be YouTube gold,’ he said. Again, as much as he complained about doing this, it seemed that Tommy was forgetting to be obnoxious at times, so this really might work.