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‘But you have to.’

‘No, I don’t.’

Honestly they were as bad as the children sometimes. I jumped on the bed and tried to stare at them to tell them to stop, but they were too far into the silly argument to pay me any attention.

‘This is for such a good cause, and you know it’s not easy. I’m helping them as much as I can but there’s so much to do, and that’s why I need you involved. We’ve to do the auditions, then the running list for the show, sort out the props and get rehearsals underway and we have to sell tickets, organise refreshments … We have to make this a success because they are doing this for such a good cause. If it’s anything but a huge success it’ll be heartbreaking.’ Claire sounded upset and I knew why. There was such a lot to do and hearing Claire say it out loud, it really struckme just how much. My idea might have been genius but it also meant a huge amount of work.

‘I’ll do anything to help, Claire, but I can’t audition, please.’ Jonathan was softening but I knew that being on stage wasn’t his thing.

‘Oh God, I don’t know, there’s just so much. Maybe I’ve taken on a bittoo much because I also have Christmas to organise… But I promised Aleksy and I have to make sure it’s a great show. And we need to find some money to put the show on as well. I forgot to put that on the list.’ Claire ran her hands through her hair. I looked at her and then I looked at Jonathan. Surely that was what Jonathan could do. His job was about making money as far as I could tell, so couldn’t they give some to the show?

‘Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow,’ I said at the top of my voice.

‘Even Alfie thinks you should audition,’ Claire said.

‘Yowl.’ No, that wasn’t what I meant. I tried again. ‘Mew, mew, mew, mew.’ I said this directly to Jonathan, then I did a few circles in order to try to get him to fully understand.

‘He’s trying to say something, but not that. Alfie wouldn’t betray me like that.’

‘Purr,’ I had to let him know he was right.

‘Oh Claire, why didn’t we think of it sooner, how about I get my company to sponsor the show? We have a charity pot and they’re always looking to help local charities out as well as national ones. So we can sponsor the show, get our name on posters and the tickets and we’ll ensure you have enough money to put the show on and hopefully a big donation at the end of it too.’

I lay down, a little worn out. Thank you, you’ve got it. Honestly, at times I did wish my humans were a bit quicker on the uptake.

‘Can you ask them tomorrow?’ Claire said, excited.

‘Of course, don’t say anything to Aleksy just yet, but I’m pretty sure I can persuade them. This is right up their street and such a good cause. But there is a condition.’

‘OK, let’s hear it.’

‘I don’t have to audition.’

‘Fine.’

It seemed we had all got what we wanted, although not quite me because now I wanted my supper.

‘Did the children sort it out?’ I asked George as we were about to tuck in.

‘Yes, with a bit of help from me. Summer and Martha are going to do the opening bit where they list all the reindeer and Toby and Henry will rap, the rest of the song they will all do.’

‘Honestly, George, what would these humans do without us?’

We both shuddered. It wasn’t worth thinking about.

Chapter Thirteen

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The day of the auditions was here. I was both excited and relieved. Excited because we cats would find out what our part in the show was– besides being the masterminds behind it, of course. Relieved because Aleksy, Connie, and Claire had all been quite uptight for the last few days. They were driving me round the bend.

‘What if no one comes?’ they all said – more than once, I might add. But we knew that loads of people had said they were going to come, so it was just nerves. We arrived at the hall and found Ralph waiting for us at the door. He was looking pretty pleased with himself as he opened the door and let us in. As he put on the lights, I marvelled at how much cleaner it was than when we were last here.

‘Wow, you’ve done a great job,’ Claire said. It even smelt clean. To get us in the mood, Ralph had also put Christmas music on. I swayed along to ‘White Christmas’ as they inspected the hall.

‘It’s such a good cause, and I had a few parishioners help. We’re auditioning – the choir, that is – and everyone’s quite excited. We needed a new lease of life and it seems that this might do the trick.’ He smiled. I wasn’t sure how old Ralph was – older than Claire and Jonathan but much younger than Harold. He had grey hair, glasses, and was very well turned out. I nuzzled him, he was being supportive and needed rewarding for that.

‘Great!’ Aleksy sounded relieved.

‘Shall we set up a table for us to sit behind, like onBritain’s Got Talent?’ Connie suggested.

‘Ha, it will be like Edgar Road Church Hall’s got Christmas talent!’ Aleksy laughed.

‘Right, let’s do it,’ Claire said as she set about moving a table to the centre of the room.