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It was only us here for now. Jonathan was looking after Summer and Toby, but would be bringing them, along with Matt, Polly, Henry, and Martha later. Even Sylvie and Marcus were coming with Harold and Theo. I didn’t like to point out that Theo was probably going to be the star of the Nativity show, because I wasn’t sure if they hadn’t come up with that idea yet. George was going to come with them, along with Hana and Snowball. And the Goodwins had been true to their word and had rallied lots of other people who would be joining us. Oliver, the cat who lived in Tiger’s old house, told me that even his owners, the Barkers, were joining Vic and Heather’s singing group. Franceska, Tomasz, and Tommy were coming along with his friend, Charlie, who was helping him with social media. Tommy still wasn’t keen but had reluctantly accepted that his involvement in the show was his punishment. I was hoping they would take videos of us, because cats were the most popular thing on social media, I was pretty sure. It seemed there was no end to our usefulness.

The audition panel– as Claire called it – was set up. They all had notepads and pens and I was going to sit on the table, so I could watch too, as they clearly needed my help. Ralph had left us so he could go and get changed into his ‘audition outfit’ and also meet his choir mates, so we were alone for a bitto reflect before the madness started.

‘What if no one comes?’ Connie asked for the millionth time.

‘Meow.’ They will, I reassured her. But I could feel their nerves as the reality began to get closer and closer. I was relieved when Jonathan, Polly, and Matt arrived with the children.

‘We nearly got mobbed for queue jumping,’ he said. ‘Thankfully Vic, Heather and their band of merry followers said I was one of the organisers.’

‘So there are people here to audition?’ Aleksy asked.

‘Quite a few, actually,’ Summer said as she climbed onto the stage and started spinning.

‘Right, well we better get started soon,’ Claire said. ‘Jonathan, can you keep the kids in order while we begin?’

I very much doubted it. As Summer started dancing across the stage with Martha, and Toby climbed on some stacked chairs with Henry, Polly took charge. I hoped George, Snowball, and Hana would arrive soon so they could help them out.‘We can’t start without Tommy, he needs to set up to do some filming and he’s going to post on Instagram and Twitter as we go.’ Aleksy sounded panicked but just then we heard a commotion and in walked Tommy and Charlie, followed by Franceska and Tomasz.

‘I told them I was in charge of filming and then they wanted me to start filming them, which I did because, like the TV talent shows, we can post a video of the queue of people,’ Tommy said, almost forgetting to sulk.

‘Yeah, it’s not as long as those on TV obviously, but we have tricks to make it look longer. Look, guys, we got them to wave and cheer,’ Charlie added.

We all crowded round Charlie’s screen – it did look as if there were a load of people and noise. There were more people than even I had expected.

‘Great job,’ Claire said. ‘Tommy, Charlie, thank you so much for helping.’

‘I am proud of both my boys today,’ Franceska said, a little emotionally.

‘Hey there’s a few kids from school here too, Aleksy, Connie,’ Charlie said. He sounded excited, which made us all feel raring to go. ‘I thought that they wouldn’t want to be in it, but they do!’

‘Right, let’s begin,’ Claire clapped her hands together and as the rest of our family arrived, the auditions began.

It really was nothing like the TV competition, or it was, but mainly the bit when you got those really bad people that made everyone laugh. Claire, Jonathan, Toby, Summer and us cats usually watched those shows on a Saturday night. I didn’t always get it, and would often fall asleep, but George loved them and would tell me everything – he really was quite a showbiz cat, thinking about it.

In fairness, our auditions were not all bad. Although, there was a man who tried to juggle– which, as far as I knew, had nothing to do with Christmas, and he wasn’t even dressed up as anything – and as he threw the balls around he kept dropping them.

‘Thank you,’ Claire said as he picked the balls up for what felt like the millionth time. ‘Next.’

An old man wearing a suit and top hat walked on the stage with an old woman who seemed to be wearing a long evening dress and carrying a lot of stuff. They not only looked old but walked quite slowly.

‘I am Magic Marvin and this is my beautiful assistant, Dolly.’ He spoke with a flourish and a wave of his wand.

‘Hello,’ Claire said. ‘Clearly we don’t need to ask you what you do.’

What this had to do with Christmas, again, no idea.

‘First I will make this rabbit disappear,’ Magic Marvin said. Dolly put a table on the stage and out of a big bag she pulled a rabbit, luckily it was a toy one. Marvin placed it on the table, took his top hat off his head and put it over the rabbit.