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“So who is Doctor Clam, and why is there a television crew in my house?”

“Um… maybe you better take a good long sip of tea first,” said Tex as he tried to reassure her with a smile that came off more like a grimace.

But she took the sip, and then waited as he first cleared his throat, then inserted a finger between collar and neck and tugged.

“The thing is, darling, that your mother has decided…” He grimaced again. “Well, she has decided to…”

“To have another baby? But honey, how is that even possible? She’s too old to have a baby.”

“Exactly what I told her!” said Tex, slapping his knee. “But Doc Clam, who apparently is a fertility expert, claims it can be done. He claims that with the right hormonal mix the effects of menopause can be reversed, and even a woman of your mother’s age can get pregnant and carry a baby tofull term.”

Marge stared at her husband, then took another sip of tea, hoping it would clear her mind of the sneaking suspicion not only Hampton Cove had gone mad, but her own family, too.“This is a joke, right? You’re not serious, are you?” she finally asked.

“I’m afraid I am—and so is Vesta. She already started the treatment, and Doc Clam will be right here so he can take her case well in hand.”

“And the television crew?”

“They’re with Clam. He considers Vesta’s case his most ambitious project to date, and wants to document every moment of her historic journey from conception to delivery.”

“I don’t believe this,” said Marge, closing her eyes. “Tell me this is all a bad dream, Tex. Tell me this isn’t happening.”

“Oh, it’s happening, and we’re going to be in this documentary, too. Because Doctor Clam is staying in our spare bedroom, and his television crew is staying in Odelia’s. Vesta was so kind to invite them to stay here, as the doctor feels it’s important he’s on the premises to monitor herprogress closely, day and night. For nine. Long. Months.”

“Nine months. Day and night,” Marge echoed morosely.

“I’m… not entirely sanguine that this Clam’s methods are entirely… scientific. Or even ethical. But when I tried to voice some of my objections, your mother overruled me. She said it’s her body and her decision, and I should butt out. So I guess I’m butting out.”

“I so rue the day I invited her to stay with us. I felt sorry for her, you know, after the divorce, and I thought I did the right thing by letting her stay with us until she got back on her feet.”

“Oh, she’s back on her feet all right.”

She most definitely was. But then Marge took a deep breath and decided that this would pass, too. Her mother had pulled some crazy stunts before, and somehow they’d survived them all. And this time would be no different. She hoped.

“Say, what’s all this I’m hearing about Alec attacking Pamela Witherspoon in the park last night?” asked Tex now.

“Oh, I completely forgot to tell you about that. Alec is the victim of a vicious gossip campaign, which has already led to his suspension as chief of police, and which might lead to my suspension as librarian as well. But Odelia is on the case, and tonight she and Chase are going to the park to look for that zombie. He’s the key to this whole thing.”

Tex stared at her, then wordlessly took the cup from her fingers and drained it.

Yup. It was one of those days.

Just then, the doorbell rang, and she got up to open the door. When she did, she found a stranger standing on the mat, smiling at her. He had a long white Santa Claus beard, long white Santa Claus hair, and was dressed in a red Santa suit.

“It’s too early for Christmas,” she said automatically, and made to close the door.

But then Santa pulled down his beard and said,“Marge, it’s me—Alec!”

Uh-huh. Definitely one of those days.

Chapter 11

All of our humans were seated around the dinner table, only this time three more humans had been added to the mix: Doctor Zebediah Clam, Libby Elk, who was a freelance reporter and documentary maker, and Jonah Zappa, her associate and cameraman.

Instead of joining the others for creamy prawn pasta, though, Libby and Jonah were filming, as if this were the scene of some reality show orLifetime production. It was all very weird, and I wasn’t entirely sure my humans were fully on board with the scheme.

Gran obviously was, as she was the life and soul of the party, giggling and laughing and telling anecdote after anecdote. In fact I don’t think I’d ever seen her this lively and animated since making her acquaintance all those many years ago.

“Gran seems to be having a great time,” said Dooley, making the same observation.

“Is it true she’s having another baby?” asked Harriet, who looked slightly worried at the prospect.

“It sure looks that way,” I said. “This Doctor Zebediah Clam is one of the world’s leading fertility experts, and he claims he can make it happen.”

“But… isn’t Gran too old to have a baby?” asked Dooley, putting his paw on the nub.

“According to Doctor Clam she isn’t.”