William Shakespeare's The Jedi Doth Return

O what a rogue and peasant Sith am I.
This turmoil in my spirit doth not suit
A dark and vicious warlord like myself.
My son a rebel—fickle-minded Fate
That e’er would be so cruel to have me see’t!
And not a simple rebel, nay, but he
A hero, noble, brave, and true, a lad
Whose character befits his parentage.
Were he within the Empire’s ranks employ’d,
I would be proud to govern by his side.
A worthy lad is he, of virtues full,
A Jedi Knight and pow’rful in the Force,
A brave, courageous, cunning warrior,
A shadow of my former, noble self.
Yet if he will not turn he’ll be destroy’d.
O shall it be? The strands of Fate do seem
To wind themselves about my neck as if
To strangle me and drag me down into
The measureless, uncharted depths of my
Beloved Emperor’s most perfect will.
Thus shall I drown within the dark side’s pull:
A murky grave to bury Vader’s soul.
The rudder of my conscience runs not straight,
Thus am I tow’d along toward my Fate.

[Exit.

Act IV

Scene 1.

The forest moon of Endor.

EnterHAN SOLO, PRINCESS LEIA, CHEWBACCA , C-3PO, R2-D2, Wicket, Paploo, and several REBELS.

Leia

The entrance to the bunker where the Death
Star’s shield controllèd is lies just beyond
That landing platform there. To get inside,
Without revealing our intent shall not
Be easy.

Han

—Fear thou not. Chewbacca and
Myself have enter’d places that were far
More heavily protected than this one.
The tales I could relate—another time.

Wicket

Na nubba nubba,
Weeva nubba,
Nozza wayza,
Yubba yubba.

C-3PO

N’ketcha ketcha,
Yuzza betcha,
Yuzza surra,
Netcha, netcha.

Wicket

Suki, suki,
Nahgoh luki,
Nahyoo siya,
Ch’buki uki.

Leia

I prithee, 3PO, what doth he say?

C-3PO

’Tis news that shall delight, good Princess, for
It renders our assault yet easier.
A secret entrance may be found along
The other side of this great ridge.

Han

—’Tis well.
So let us hence and find this hidden way.

[The group of rebels and Ewoks walks to a new location.

Leia