William Shakespeare's The Jedi Doth Return

Then shall we try and go around the side?

Luke

It will take time.

Han

—And all shall be for naught
If we are seen. Yet I do have a plan:
Chewbacca and myself shall handle this.
Ye both stay here.

Luke

—But prithee, soft, good Han.
Be quiet, for there may be others near.

Han

Thy words unnecessary are—’tis me!

[Han Solo and Chewbacca move toward the

Imperial scouts.

Now shall I move in stealth to take them in,
Then take them out. With catlike tread I step,
Ne’er to be notic’d till my prey is mine,
Then I—alack! A twig snaps underfoot!

[Imperial Scouts 1 and 2 turn toward the sound and see Han Solo and Chewbacca.

Scout 1

What is that sound? Alas, ’tis rebels, go!
And warn our comrades quickly.

Luke

—Let us fly!

[Han fights with Imperial Scout 1. Imperial

Scout 2 boards his speeder bike to fly away but is shot by Chewbacca. Imperial Scouts 3 and 4 jump on their speeder bikes and fly away.

Leia

Behold the two scouts speed from out our grasp!
Upon the instant I shall give them chase.

Luke

Pray, Leia, patience—straight I come with thee!

[Luke and Leia board a speeder bike behind Imperial Scouts 3 and 4, in pursuit. Exeunt Han Solo, Chewbacca, C-3PO, and R2-D2 in the melee.

EnterCHORUS.

Chorus

Do not our play too harshly judge, dear friends,
For with imagination may you see:
Into the forest now the fight extends
On speeder bikes that whip ’twixt tree and tree.
What haste their dauntless riders undergo
As they fly swiftly past both brush and stumps!
The rapid derring-do our scene doth show,
And when ’tis over, some shall have their lumps.

[Exit chorus.

Luke

Jam thou their comlink, center switch!

Leia

—’Tis done!

Luke

Canst thou yet closer go? Pray, pull aside
The one before us. Now I jump aboard
His bike, and he is mine and I’m for him.

[Luke throws Imperial Scout 3 from his speeder bike, and Imperial Scout 3 dies.

EnterIMPERIAL SCOUTS 5 and 6 on speeder bikes.

Aye, he is gone, but others take his place!
Good Leia, follow that one up ahead.
I shall remain behind, to face these two.

Leia

’Tis well. Be safe, and I shall see thee soon.

Luke

[ aside:] O sister, all my thanks for tender words.

[Luke falls behind, alongside Imperial Scouts 5 and 6.

Now shall this bike’s keen blaster find its mark!
I shoot, and one is dead; the other next.

[Luke shoots and kills Imperial Scout 6.

Leia

I shall fly high o’er this one’s bike, that he
May think that I have fled. Then shall I from
Above make my attack. Ha! Now beside
His bike, surprise is my sure strategy.

[Imperial Scout 4 shoots at Leia.

Alas! My bike is hit, and off I fall!