William Shakespeare's The Jedi Doth Return

You may within this model see the Death
Star orbiting around the forest moon
Of Endor. Though the weapons systems on
The Death Star are not operational
As yet, the Death Star hath a strong defense:
It is secur’d by shield of energy
A’generated on the forest moon.
Deactivated must this shield be ere
We can attack. Then, when the shield hath been
Disarm’d, our cruisers shall take wing and fly
Within the superstructure to destroy
The main reactor. This attack shall be
Made by a squadron of our wingèd ships
Led by our General Calrissian,
Who is a worthy and a noble chap.

Han

Good luck be thine, my friend. Thou shalt need it.

Ackbar

Thus endeth my report. Now General
Madine, thine efforts for our mission wilt
Thou presently recap?

MADINE

—We’ve stolen an
Imperi’l shuttle, which, disguisèd as
A cargo ship, shall use a secret code
To land upon the moon. Thereon a team
Shall fearlessly deactivate the shield.

C-3PO

A dangerous experience, no doubt.

Leia

[ to Han:] And who, I wonder, has agreed to it?
For such a mission may quite futile prove.

Han

Nay, be thou not afraid. A man of wit,
Of clever mind and fine exterior
They must have chosen, whom thou shalt approve.

MADINE

Good Gen’ral Solo, is thy team prepar’d?

Leia

[ aside:] A man of wit! He ne’er doth cease t’amaze.

Han

My team is ready, yet I do not have
A crew who shall the shuttle’s flight command.

Chewbac.

Auugh!

Han

—It shall not be easy, friend, thus I
Had not yet volunteer’d thy worthy name.

Chewbac.

Egh!

Han

—Well! Now have I one!

Leia

—And count me two.
Good General, I gladly follow thee.
Wherever thou dost go, then so shall I,
Wherever thou remain, thus I shall too,
Thy people shall my people be as well,
And all thy battles shall my battles be.

EnterLUKE S KYWALKER and R2-D2.

Luke

Why have but two when three is company?
I shall go with thee also, noble friend.
[ Aside:] My sister! Ah! To see her fills my heart!

[Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia embrace.

Leia

What is’t?

Luke

—Ask yet again, another time.

Han

Ho, Luke!

Luke

—Good Han, and Chewie!

R2-D2

—Beep, meep, squeak!

C-3PO

“Exciting” would not be my word of choice,
’Tis more like “harrowing,” if I were ask’d.

[Exeunt all but Han Solo and Lando of Calrissian.

Han