Widows

Linda was on her feet in a split second, her face tight and ugly. She kicked the money case. ‘This is a kiss off! To keep us sweet. And who do you think’s getting the rest? Eh? Harry will be emptying them convent lockers as we speak... if the rest of the money was ever there in the first place.’

Bella put her glass down and stood up too. ‘Just take it easy. We don’t know if any of that’s true. We don’t even know if he’s really alive; I mean, if he is, why would she come here?’

None of them heard Dolly come out of the bathroom.

She was dressed in a hotel dressing gown that was at least two sizes too large for her and she looked like someone’s old grandma. They didn’t know if she’d heard what they had said, but she said nothing. She just went to the money case and started to move all of Harry’s clothes into a hotel laundry bag.

The girls looked to each other and Bella gave Linda the nod.

‘I put a call into London this morning, Dolly, to your place.’ Linda started cautiously.

Dolly appeared not to hear. She just opened her own case and, rummaging through, held up a gray dress. ‘I could wear this. Won’t be as dressy as you lot, but I could wear this. Or I’ve got a cocktail dress, I think I put it in here somewhere.’

‘Is Harry alive?’ Linda asked.

Dolly lifted out her cocktail dress, held it against her body. ‘What do you think?’

Linda stepped forward and snatched the dress from her hands. ‘Harry answered the phone. He’s alive, ain’t he?’

Dolly’s eyes glazed over. She had no fight left and no will to go on. She felt as if someone had kicked her hard in the pit of her stomach. The burning feeling began to spread outward and upward, engulfing her entire body, but when she spoke her voice was calm. ‘If you say so, Linda,’ she said, still with her back to them all.

‘I do say so, Dolly. And you know he is.’ Linda asked the question on all of their lips. ‘What about the rest of the money? What you really done with it? Harry got that now, has he?’

Dolly was burning up, her mouth incredibly dry. She swallowed hard. ‘You think I’m working with Harry? You think I knew?’ she said, still not turning to face them.

Bella held Linda back as she tried to grab Dolly’s arm. ‘We just need to know what’s going on, Dolly,’ she said calmly.

Dolly turned and looked at each girl one by one. She was trembling as she moved over to the drinks trolley. She put out a hand to reach for the bottle and her hand shook so much she couldn’t lift it. Then her whole body started to shake uncontrollably.

‘Is he alive, Dolly?’ Linda persisted. Dolly was shaking like a frail old lady. Bella and Shirley looked at each other, worried that something was terribly wrong.

The sudden, frightening explosion of emotional anger took them all by surprise. Over went the drinks trolley, glasses, food, anything Dolly could lay her hands on she hurled across the room. She grabbed her holdall, pulled handfuls of her money out and flung it at the three women. Her voice was like a low growl to begin with; then it got louder and louder as she snarled like a mad dog over and over: ‘YES, YES, YES, YES, YES!’

The girls stood huddled together. They’d never seen Dolly like this before — they’d never seen anyone like this before! They had no idea what to do, how to help, how to comfort, how to make the pain she was in go away.

When Dolly had nothing left to throw, her face twisted and she began pulling at the dressing gown, trying to rip it with her nails. Her head shook backward and forward as she glowered at them like a rabid animal. It was a terrifying thing to watch. She pulled the dressing gown off her shoulders and began to scratch at her bare arms. Deep red welts appeared and her voice rose higher and higher. ‘You want to know what it felt like?’ Dolly yelled. ‘What it felt like to find out? It was like a raging fire inside me. It’s still inside me: he’s inside me... out, get him out of me, dear God get him out!’

Dolly’s scratched her arms deeper and harder until the blood ran down to her fingers.

Linda’s eyes almost popped out of her head, Shirley’s face began to pucker like a frightened child, but it was Bella who took action. Linda thought she was going to slap Dolly out of her hysteria, but she grabbed her in a bear hug and held her as tight as she could. Dolly struggled, her arms pinned at her sides by Bella’s huge strength. Dolly sobbed in Bella’s arms and, as she loosened her grip, Dolly slid to the floor and landed on her knees.

No one knew what to do.

The tears Dolly had wanted to cry for so long finally came in floods. She wept as she had never done before. She had wept for Harry many times, but these awful wrenching sobs were different, and although the pain was excruciating, they were a welcome release.