Voices in a Haunted Room

I could not suppress a shiver. She looked hardly sane with the fanatical light in her eyes, and her hood had fallen back. I could just catch a glimpse of the wrinkled scorched skin which she took such pains to hide. The unusual colour in her face accentuated it.

I felt an overwhelming pity and terrible fear, because somewhere in my mind was the terrible conviction that if she knew what had happened she would call me his murderer.

True I had not fired the shot, yet but for me it would no,t have been fired. No one would have known of Alberic’s secret life but for me, and he would now be charming Aunt Sophie and working for his country against ours.

I said I would have to go. I kissed Aunt Sophie and she gripped my hands.

“If ever you should discover anything,” she said, “let me know. I am determined to find Alberic’s murderer.”

Jeanne walked downstairs with me.

“That is how she is, most of the time,” she said. “Sometimes I think it is a good thing to let her go on about it. While she is thinking of revenge she is not brooding on his death.”

I shook my head, and Jeanne went on: “She will grow calmer. She will accept his loss, for perforce she must.”

I went slowly back to Eversleigh.

By the end of May the death of Alberic had become a nine-days’ wonder. At first people had expected startling revelations. There were rumours of Alberic’s having enemies in the neighbourhood; there were even suspects, though it was hard to imagine who would have wanted to kill such an amiable young man. The weeks passed and nothing happened. People watched out for Billy Grafter’s body to be washed up and there was even a wild story hi circulation that he had been found on the beach riddled with bullets. This persisted for two weeks and then died down. I think people gradually began to accept that Alberic’s murder would never be solved and that Billy Grafter had been with him and they had drowned together.

My mother came to my room on her first night back from London.

“You must not let this upset you,” she said. “It had to be. He was a spy. We cannot afford to let them go ... however pleasant they may appear to be. Believe me, Claudine, I’ve been hi the thick of it. I’ve seen Armand come back scarcely alive after his sojourn in the Bastille ... put there by spies. You can say that killed him. Then there was my mother. I never forget that, and what they would have done to me but for Dickon. Living through that does something to you. It makes you understand that enemies of the state have to be eliminated, and if it can be quick-as it was with Alberic-that is the best way. I am only sorry that you were there when it happened.”

“It was my fault. Jonathan asked me to stay behind but I went.”

“And you saw it, and it upset you. You don’t blame Jonathan, I hope. He was doing what had to be done.”

“I see all that,” I said. “I just wish it hadn’t had to happen.”

“My dear girl, that’s what we all wish. We’ve got to forget this. David says you have nightmares. It’s that, isn’t it?”

I nodded.

“Such a pity. But you’ve got to grow away from it. It was like that with me ... after that night in the mairie with the mob screaming for my blood outside. It comes back even now. Sometimes I dream. One can’t come through these experiences unscathed. There is only one thing to do ... grow away from them ... that is, accept them as a necessary part of the world we live in.”

“You are right, of course. Dear Maman, I will try. I will think of what they tried to do to you. I will think of my grandmother ... and then I will see that it has to be.”

She smiled. “And now,” she said, “there is the wedding. I’ve such a lot to talk to you about concerning that. For one thing, I don’t think we should take the babies.”

“No. I was thinking of that.”

“Grace Soper is quite capable of taking charge.”

“She does in any case.”

“She adores them both and they love her too. They would miss their nursery. I don’t fancy the journey with them. Then of course they would be in a strange place ... and after all we shall only be away for a few days.”

I agreed with her.

Then we talked about clothes and all the time I was thinking about Jonathan and Millicent taking their vows-which he would never keep. I wondered if she would. The wedding was to take place on the first of June. A few days before, our party set out for Pettigrew Hall, which was on the way to London -in fact it was about midway between the City and Eversleigh.

My mother and I rode in the carriage with Mary Lee, my mother’s lady’s maid, who would look after us both, and with us were the trunks containing our clothes and anything we should need. David and Dickon went on horseback and we were easily able to make the journey in a day, having set out very early and arriving at Pettigrew Hall at six in the evening.

We were warmly welcomed by Lord and Lady Pettigrew. Jonathan was already there.