Understanding Asexuality

There is another level of ambiguity, or at least complexity, associated with both sex and gender. Some people are born with all of their biological variables consistent with traditional maleness or femaleness (XX, ovaries, uterus, vagina, or XY, testicles, prostate, penis), but have an internal sense of themselves or their gender identity that is inconsistent with their biological sex. These individuals are often so dissatisfied with their biological sex that they may want to alter it so that it will be consistent with their internal sense of themselves as male or female. Traditionally, these individuals have been referred to as transsexual in order to describe the change in biological sex that many of these individuals wanted and often accomplished through medical intervention (i.e., sex re-assignment surgery) to make their bodies, particularly their genitalia, consistent with their internal sense of themselves (Benjamin, 1966). More recently, a related word, transgender, has emerged. Originally, this word was used to describe people who were dissatisfied with their biological sex but who did not want to alter aspects of their bodies (e.g., via sex re-assignment surgery) (Kotula, 2002). The meaning of the term transgender has recently expanded, and is now a kind of “umbrella” term. This term often describes both traditional transsexuals (i.e., those who want to change biological sex and perhaps have done so) and anyone who violates traditional “gender” boundaries but does not necessarily want to alter aspects of their biological sex. Put another way, transgender can refer to those whose identity does not conform to their biological sex or those whose identity does not match their “gender” assigned at birth (Ekins & King, 2004). So, aside from transsexual people, the transgendered category may include those who cross-dress (e.g., drag queens or transvestites) and those who identify as, for example, “bi-gendered” or “non-gendered.” It may also include the intersexual people mentioned above. Notably, there is often a “political” dimension to the term transgender, or a transgendered identity (Feinberg, 1992). As we describe in chapter 7, (public) identities frequently emerge out of and serve political ends.

Here is yet another ambiguity. If we find, on average, a behavioral difference between men and women, is it a gender difference or a sex difference? Well, given that this difference has to do with behavior, and presumably changes across cultures, it should be referred to as a gender difference, correct? But what if we find that this difference is influenced not just by culture but also by sex hormones—for example, high levels of testosterone in men may partially underlie their greater sex drive (Baumeister, Catanese, & Vohs, 2001). Should we then call it a sex difference, because it is largely (or at least partially) biologically based? The answer is obviously complex, and you may notice that researchers, for this reason, often use the phrase sex differences and gender differences seemingly inconsistently and interchangeably.

In summary, the constructs of sex and gender are quite complex, so keep this in mind as you read this chapter and ponder the differences between men and women, and consider how it all relates to asexuality. Also note that for the sake of simplicity, I use the phrase gender differences to refer to any behavioral differences that exist between men and women.

Not all men are alike and not all women are alike—indeed, there is a lot of variability within each—and so using people’s biological sex as the only piece of information to predict their sexuality can be misleading and cause numerous errors. Yet, as the black box pictures mentioned above suggest, there are fascinating gender differences in sexuality.

One of the main differences is that men have, on average, a higher sex drive than women (Baumeister et al., 2001). In other words, men are more “sexualized” than women. Examples include the fact that men masturbate and fantasize more than women do. In one national British survey, 73 percent of men and 37 percent of women reported masturbating in the previous month (Gerressu, Mercer, Graham, Wellings, & Johnson, 2008). Relatedly, there is evidence that men (particularly young men) think about sex on a more frequent basis than women. According to one national study of the United States, more than half of men (i.e., 54 percent) think about sex several times during the day, whereas about 20 percent of women do so at about the same frequency (Laumann, Gagnon, Michael, & Michaels, 1994).