Under the Lights

“I mean, right?” Zander’s seriously turning up the smile wattage now, and he looks so sweet. And he has a point — it could be a great thing for kids to see that not everyone is doing it. Instead of being peer-pressured into sex they’re not ready for, maybe we could help them see that waiting is something to be proud of.

“Zander! Vanessa! Over here!”

We turn to see paparazzi gathering right outside the glass front of the restaurant, huge cameras in hand, encouraging smiles on their faces. Zander and I are still sitting there with our hands clasped together, undoubtedly making exactly the kind of genuine, sweet, romantic picture our fans die for.

Because we mean something to them. We matter. They admire us, and they want to be like us. The enormity of that has never struck me the way it does right now.

So as we wave and smile and kiss for the cameras, I sneak in a whispered, “Yes.”

* * *

I’d been feeling good about the decision when I agreed to it at dinner, but one lousy night’s sleep and a 5:00 a.m. call time later, I’m suddenly not so sure. The hot water with lemon I’m forced to drink so I don’t stain my teeth with coffee is totally not cutting it, either.

On top of that, I woke up to several grumpy e-mails from Ally about the fact that Liam’s barely been calling her and still hasn’t been to New York to visit. I’m not exactly thrilled with him these days, either, since he’s essentially dropped off the planet to film the Lassiter movie. Not that I’m fuming about the increased airtime or anything, but it is exhausting, and I could do without ever having to share it with Josh.

Liam doesn’t roll on to set that day until two, and when he does, he looks like complete and total crap. “Yikes, are you okay?” I ask. The circles under his eyes are dark and deep, and I know Toya’s gonna be working double-time.

“Fine,” he bites out. “I gotta get to makeup.”

He certainly does. “You talk to Ally this weekend?” I ask to his retreating back.

He freezes. “What the hell is up with this conspiracy of people telling me to talk to my own girlfriend? Yes, I talked to Ally this weekend. Happy?”

“Don’t mind him,” Josh says, walking over. “This is what happens when you work two jobs and don’t get laid.”

“Oh, shut up,” Liam mutters, even though Josh is obviously right. “I don’t need shit from both of you. Hell, I don’t need it from either of you.” He stalks off toward his trailer, and Josh and I exchange looks.

“What’s wrong with him?” I ask Josh. “I can barely get anything out of Ally, but she sounds pretty miserable. But of course, ‘It’s fine. Everything’s fine. He’s just busy. And so am I.’”

“Yeah, I talked to her, too. She sounds shitty. But he had a rough weekend — give him a break.”

I roll my eyes. “Yeah, I heard he spent his weekend up in Napa, with James Gallagher practically begging him to take the lead role in his next movie. That sounds terrible.”

“Hashtag LiamProblems,” says Josh, and I crack up. “I think he just needs to bail on filming for a weekend and get his ass out to New York. He’s barely had a minute to breathe. He won’t even commit to coming to my party tomorrow night.”

“Well, I for one am very much looking forward to it,” I admit. “I could use a little more fun.”

“Not having enough with your boyfriend? Sure seemed like it on CelebriTeens this morning.”

I raise an eyebrow. “I wasn’t aware you read gossip blogs. Does Holly sound out the words for you? Or do you just like the pictures?”

“Hey, no need to be a bitch.” He holds up his hands in surrender. “I was just gonna say that the two of you look very happy. It’s truly adorable. I hope he’s coming to the party. I look forward to getting to know him better.”

Like I trust that for a second. I wonder what Josh would make of the whole “purity pledge” thing. He’d probably die of laughter.

For the billionth time since Ally moved to New York, I wish I had my best friend back.

“He’ll be there,” I tell Josh firmly, even though I never actually told Zander the party was happening. It’s a cast-and-crew party, and it never really occurred to me to bring a plus-one. Nor would I have thought Josh would be open to my doing so — especially one of the boy-band-member variety.

“Excellent. I was thinking just a casual thing, but maybe he and the rest of his superhero band can perform. You know how I love my ballads.”

I’m tempted to snap back, but it’s not worth it. Josh and I can go on like this all day, and none of that will help with what I really want and need — a way to clear my head and really think this through so I can be confident I’m making the right decision. No doubt Jade will have some epic date planned for us for Saturday night, and I need to know if I’m all in before I let Zander put that ring on my finger.

“I’ll mention it,” I lie instead.

Josh actually looks a little disappointed for a second, but he covers it up quickly. “Good. If my mom keeps being a bitch about the house, this may be my last party there. I still may need to get a new place. One that’s actually mine.”