Time for Silence

“How can you be sure? How can anyone be sure of anything in this fearful world?”

“I shall come back. We shall sit on this seat and there will be nothing to fear.”

“If only that can be! I am sorry to be so uncertain, Robert. We have wasted so much time because I was foolish. But at last I have had time to see things as they really are. What I want more than anything in the world is for you to come back safely to me.”

“I shall. I promise you. Dearest Lucinda, I shall come back.”

I had to believe him, for I could not bear to contemplate a future without him.

I spent the next day with Robert. I was catching his mood of optimism. We made plans for the future as though it were certain to come.

Then I said good-bye to him and he went off. I guessed it would not be long before he was on the battlefield. I tried not to think of it. I forced myself to plan for the future, to believe in it as he had.

Over dinner I told my father about my engagement.

He was delighted. “We—your mother and I—could not be more pleased,” he said. “It is what we have always hoped for. Robert is a wonderful young man. Not appreciated by some, because he is so modest. Such people are often taken at their own estimation, which can be a great mistake. Robert’s family will be pleased also. Perhaps Belinda would have liked a duke’s daughter for her son, but at least she is gratified by her daughter’s elevation to the aristocracy. At one time, your mother and I thought that you and Marcus…”

“Oh, no, it was Annabelinda for him.”

“I’m glad. There is no one we would rather see you marry than Robert Denver.”

“I know…but I’m afraid because he’ll be out there…in the thick of it.”

My father nodded his head gravely. “Robert has always struck me as a survivor, in his calm, quiet way,” he said.

I could not bear to think of Robert’s being in danger and my father changed the subject quickly. He said, “By the way…you haven’t seen anything…?”

I knew what he meant and replied, “No, and I can’t imagine who could possibly get in there.”

“I think it is certain that someone has been in there.”

“When?”

“Within the last few days.”

“I have been watchful.”

“You can’t be everywhere at once. The essence of this is secrecy. You must not let anyone see you are on the alert. I don’t like that key being in Mrs. Cherry’s possession. Not that I suspect her. But of course she doesn’t realize the importance of that key, and I can’t tell her. It’s a pity the room has to be cleaned.”

“I wonder if I could get the key?”

“How?”

“I mean, ask Mrs. Cherry to give it to me. Suppose I offered to clean the room?”

“Wouldn’t that be rather unusual?”

“Well, everything about it is unusual. Your study’s having to be kept locked, for one thing…no one but Mrs. Cherry having the key. I don’t see why I shouldn’t clean the room. If I had the key we could be sure no one could get in.”

“I think it would arouse too much suspicion if you asked Mrs. Cherry for it.”

“I’ll think of something.”

“Lucinda, be careful. You do realize how important this is, and if there is someone in this household…someone who is working for the enemy…well, such people could be dangerous.”

“I do know, but I am sure I can make it all seem natural.”

“I certainly don’t like the idea of there being a key that is not in my possession. I don’t like the thought of Mrs. Cherry’s going in. While she is working, the door will be open. She could be called away suddenly….I am certain that someone is getting into that room.”

“Well, I am going to find out, and the first step is to get the key, without which no one can get into the room, unless they come through the window, which is always locked; and as the room is on the second floor, an intruder would need the agility of a cat to get in. There’s not so much for me to do here as there was at Marchlands. Walk in the park…and play with Edward. I really don’t see why I should not clean that room. After all, there are not many servants in the house now. I could make that excuse. Leave it to me. I’ll get the key and that will set our minds at rest on that score.”

It was not so difficult to manage. I had always been on good terms with Mrs. Cherry, and Edward had made a special bond between us. She had thought the story of my bringing him from France was very “beautiful.” It was heartwarming, she said, like something in a novelette.

“Some would have left him behind. I mean to say…a young girl bringing home a baby like that. Well, of course, there was Mrs. Greenham. She’d never turn anyone away from her door, let alone a little baby. So I reckon it’s a beautiful story. And there he is, the little mite, as cocky as they come. What would have happened to him if he’d been left to those terrible Germans?”

She had always been fond of my mother, and now I had become almost a war heroine in her eyes, so I was on especially good terms with her.

I began by asking her for the key to my father’s study as there were some papers he wanted me to look out for him.