The Undertaker

“Help? When a guy drags a broad into shit like this, they always screw up and get the guy killed.” He focused those hard eyes on me. “So, what was so freakin’ important that you had to come to Chicago and get her “help” in the first place?”

“Okay,” I tried to explain. “You know how they buried Louie Panozzo and his wife in Oak Hill using my name and my wife Terri's, right? Well, there's another grave up there with her ex-husband Eddie's name on it, and two for a guy named Skeppington and his wife, two for a guy named Pryor and his wife, and two for a guy named Brownstein and his wife. If you dig those up, you're going to find the bodies of some your old pals from Newark, like Richie Benvenuto, Clement 'the Mole' Aleppo, Paul Mantucci, and Johnny Dantonio. But I think there's more, a lot more. They're only the tip of the iceberg.”

Parini stared at me, astonished. “How the Hell did you…”

“I read the newspaper. Panozzo and his wife lived in Columbus for over six months, using my name and my wife's before they had their little “accident.” And that's the way they were buried: Mr. and Mrs. Peter Emerson Talbott. The others were all the same. That's how I found them. Accidents. Varner signed the death certificates, Greene buried them, Tinkerton was their executor, and Dannmeyer provided the police protection, not that they needed it, because they thought Terri and I were already dead and buried back in California. In her case, they were right. In mine, they were wrong.”

“So they bit on that old obituary in LA papers, the one that said you died in Mexico?” Parini leaned forward and listened intently.

“When I told Tinkerton how they got it all wrong, he just laughed and admitted that every now and then their computers screwed up.” I smiled. “What they missed was the fact that I wasn't dead.”

“Not yet anyway,” Parini snorted as he looked over at Sandy.

“Okay, Gino, a little wager.” I leaned forward in the chair. “I'll bet you that .45 of yours that ‘the Mole’ wasn't married.”

Parini leaned back and studied me carefully for a moment, but he didn't bite.

“Come on, Gino. A little gentlemanly wager?” I goaded him.

“Nah, I can read your eyes. You don't bluff so well, kid. You know something.”

“I told him he can't lie worth a damn,” Sandy interjected. “But while you two keep screwing around, those guys in the gray sedans are coming back.”

“I'm right, aren't I?” I ignored her. ‘The Mole” was single, wasn't he?”

“Yeah, he was single, but how'd you know?”

“With a name like that?”

Parini roared with laughter. “Yeah, my dumb. That was a no-brainer, wasn't it?”

“That's why when they dig up Eddie Kasmarek's grave in Columbus, they're going to find “the Mole's” body inside,” I said. “See, they needed the name of a single guy and they thought Eddie was single. They didn't know about Sandy, because they had an ugly divorce last year and none of Eddie's obituaries mentioned her.”

“I wouldn't let them,” she answered. “I didn't want anything more to do with that bastard.”

Parini leaned back and stared at her and at me, then slowly nodded. “You know, you might be onto something, Ace.”

“Peter, we need to get that stuff and get the hell out of here,” Sandy said.

“What stuff?” Gino asked

“The papers I have on Eddie,” she answered. “His death certificate, the obituary from the Tribune, maybe receipts from his insurance, the ambulance, the cemetery, that kinda stuff.”

“And if I can get some proof on those other guys: Skeppington, Brownstein, and Pryor, and their wives...”

“Not a bad idea.” Gino nodded. “But you got lucky. They've only got a skeleton crew here, pardon the pun, just the three cars so far, but there'll be a lot more pretty soon, Tinkerton too. My big Lincoln's parked two blocks over and you and me, we gotta get out of here, Ace.”

Sandy looked at me and almost exploded. “What's this “you and me, Ace” crap? I thought it was you and me doing this thing, Talbott, the two of us, together, remember?”

“Sandy, look…” I tried to explain.

“What? You're leaving me here? I knew it!”

“They don't have anything on you.”

“No? How about a bunch of men's clothes on my credit card, all your size, and your fingerprints all over my aunt's place. Well, at least I don't have them all over me!”

“You can still walk away from all this.”

“Walk away? She folded her arms across her chest and glared at me. “Yesterday I was next on their list, a “loose end” they were going to make “disappear.” Remember? Can you say, “accomplice,” and “aiding and abetting,” or maybe “accessory?”

“I don't want to see you get hurt, Sandy.”

“How sweet. Well, fuck you, Talbott. And fuck you too, Parini! I guess all that “stuff” isn't so damned important anymore.”

“Some mouth on that woman of yours, Ace.”

She raised her hand and would have smacked him too, gun or no gun, until I stepped between them. “Okay, okay. You're right. I can't leave you behind. You can come with.”

“What a freakin’ wuss.” Parini shook his head sarcastically.