The Undertaker

The rear of Sandy's apartment building had an open wooden staircase that zigzagged up from the small, fenced rear yard to the upper floors. She took the stairs two at a time and I followed close behind, across the landings to the third floor. She had her key out and we were through her rear door into the kitchen in less than a minute. Once over the threshold, she stopped and I plowed into her. My first impressions of her kitchen were empty beer cans, fast-food bags, a half-full bottle of vodka, dirty dishes, and a half-dozen scraggly houseplants on the window ledge. But Sandy wasn't looking at any of that. She was looking at the imposing figure of Gino Parini sitting in one of her kitchen chairs. He had a Chicago Sun Times in front of him open to the sports page and his chrome .45-caliber automatic laying next to it.

“Close the door,” Parini said as he motioned us to come in the rest of the way. He threw a quick glance around the kitchen and said, “Some housekeeper, your woman,”

“I'm not his woman,” she shot back.

He ignored her. “You really are one persistent pain in the ass, Ace. I've been sitting here since last night. Where you been? Shacked up with her?

“Oh, fuck you!” she shot back.

“A housekeeper with a foul mouth,” he snorted. His long black hair hung straight down to his shoulders today and he wore a navy blue, double-breasted blazer with gold buttons, crisp white slacks, and a maroon silk shirt, open at the neck.

“You off to Newport for the yacht races?” I asked.

“Cut the crap,” he growled. “You shoulda done what I told you back in Columbus.”

“You told me to get out of town. I did.”

“Yeah, but the wrong freakin’ way. You didn't go back to Boston; you came here. Now take a seat. You too, Sweet Pea. There's things we gotta talk about.”

“You know this grease ball?” Sandy demanded, looking at him and at me.

“His name's Gino Parini,” I said with an apologetic shrug. “He's a hit man for the New Jersey Mafia.”

“A hit man? For the Mafia?” She slapped herself on the forehead.

“Don't worry, he's not after us.”

“A nice guy, with puppy-dog eyes,” she muttered. “Jeez, how could I be so stupid again? How?”

“And how do you know who I'm not after?” Parini growled.

“He's the one who showed me the obituaries back in Boston. And he even came to my funeral in Ohio.”

“How nice. Did he send flowers?”

“Shut up and sit down,” Gino glared at her. “Both of you.”

I sat. Sandy didn't. She looked over at me, then at him, then back at me again. “The FBI. The Mafia. And now a hit man.” She shook her head angrily. “Non ci credo.” I don't believe this, she muttered in Italian.

“Cosa t'aspetti?” What did you expect? Parini chuckled. “And is that a hint of Palermo I hear underneath that bad Italian?”

“Her Polish in-laws call her “that little wop girl,” I added, but she had had enough. She turned and smacked me across the side of the head. I barely saw her hand move, but my ear was ringing. “I thought you were on my side, Gino. How come you didn't stop her?”

“You thought wrong. I ain't on nobody's side and it ain't me she was smackin’,” he said as he stood up and pushed her into her chair with one finger to the center of her chest. “Nuthin’ personal, but like I said, sit down.” With his big arms and barrel chest, he towered over her and her courage shrank into the chair cushion. “Now what do we got here, Ace? A great housekeeper. Speaks Italian. From all the beer cans and bottles, she drinks too damned much. And it says "S. A. Kasmarek" on the mailbox. So who is she?”

“Eddie Kasmarek's widow,” I said.

“Who the fuck's Eddie Kasmarek?”

“Like me, another name they used to bury somebody up in Oak Hill Cemetery, compliments of Messieurs Varner, Greene, Tinkerton, and Dannmeyer.”

I had Gino's full attention now. “No shit?”

“No shit. And you followed me here, didn't you? All the way from Columbus.”

“All the way from Boston. I put a beeper on your Bronco but you lost it.”

“I didn't lose it, they stole it.”

“Yeah, well, that made following you a whole lot harder.”

“Why didn't you just give me a ride?” I asked. “It would have made the trip a lot easier, but you wanted to see what I'd flush out, didn't you?”

Parini shrugged. “Yesterday morning I saw you checking her out, then you tailed her over to that mall on Michigan, where I lost you. But Tinkerton's clowns still had this place staked out, so I knew they hadn't got you yet. I came back here and waited.”

“They laid a trap for me over at the Water Tower,” I answered. “But they missed.”

“Missed, huh?” Parini studied me for a moment. “Don't let it go to your freakin’ head. You been lucky. If Tinkerton really wants you, sooner or later he's going to get you.” He motioned toward Sandy and shook his head. “And I'm disappointed in you, Ace. It ain't smart, you draggin' her into this thing. I expected better.”

“I needed her help,” I answered sheepishly.