The Technicolor Time Machine

He was big, even without the homed helmet he was almost seven feet tall, and hairy as a bear. Matted blond hair hung below his shoulders, and his flowing moustache vanished into the waves of beard that fell to his chest. His clothing consisted of coarsely woven blouse and breeks held in place by a varied assortment of thick leather straps, and they exuded a rich odor of fish, stale sweat and tar, yet the heavy gold bracelet around his arm did not seem out of place. His eyes were a light, almost transparent, blue, and glared at them from under beetling brows. He was battered and chained, but obviously uncowed and unbeaten, with his chin held high and his shoulders back.

“Welcome to Hollywood,” L.M. said. “Sit down—give him a drink, Barney—and make yourself comfortable. What did you say your name was… ?”

“He doesn’t speak English, L.M.”

L.M. Greenspan’s face fell. “I can’t say I approve of that, Barney. I don’t like working through interpreters, too slow, not reliable.… All right Lyn, do your stuff, ask him his name.”

Jens Lyn mumbled to himself for a moment, going through the Old Norse verb forms, then spoke aloud. “Hvat heitir maorinn?”[3]

The Viking only rumbled deep in his throat and ignored the question.

“What’s the trouble?” L.M. asked impatiently. “I thought you talked his lingo? Can’t he understand you?”

“You must be patient, sir. Old Norse has been a dead language for almost a thousand years and we know of it only through the written word. Icelandic is the modem language that most closely resembles it so I am using the Icelandic intonation and pronunciation—”

“All right, all right. Lectures I don’t need. Make him comfortable and oil him up with a few drinks and let’s get rolling.”

Tex pushed a chair against the back of the Viking’s legs and he sat down, glaring. Barney took a bottle of Jack Daniels from the bar concealed by the fake Rembrandt and poured a highball glass half full. But when he held it out to the Viking the man jerked his head away and rattled the chains that bound his wrists.

“Eitr!”[4] he snarled.

“He thinks that you are trying to poison him,” Lyn said.

“That’s easy to take care of,” Barney said, and raised the glass and took a long drink. This time the Viking allowed the glass to be put to his lips and began to drink, his eyes opening wider and wider as he drained it to the last drop.

“Ooinn ok Fitalrigg!”[5] he bellowed happily and shook the tears from his eyes.

“He should like it, at $7.25 a bottle, plus tax,” L.M. said. “You can bet they don’t have that kind of stuff where he comes from. Nor Lifebuoy neither. Ask him again about the name.”

The Viking frowned with concentration while he listened to the question repeated in a variety of ways, and answered readily enough once he understood.

“Ottar,” he said and looked at the bottle longingly.

“Now we’re getting someplace,” L.M. said and looked at the clock on his desk. “We’re also getting onto four o’clock in the morning and I want to get things settled. Ask this Ottar about the rate of exchange—what kind of money do they have, Lyn?”

“Well—they barter mostly, but mention is made of the-silver mark.”

“That’s what we want to know. How many marks to the dollar, and tell him not to give any fancy bank figures. I want the free market price, we’ve been had this way before, and I’ll buy the marks in Tangier if I have to—”

Ottar bellowed and hurled himself out of the chair knocking Barney into a row of potted plants, which collapsed under him, and grabbed up the bourbon bottle. He had it raised to his mouth when Tex hit him with the sap and he slumped unconscious to the floor.

“What’s this?” L.M. shouted. “Murder in my own office? Crazy men I got enough of in the organization, so take this one back where he came from and find one thai speaks English. I don’t want any translators next time.”

“But none of them speak English,” Barney said crossly, pulling fragments of cactus from his sleeve.

“Then teach one—but no more crazy men.”

4

Barney Hendrickson suppressed a groan, and the hand that raised the carton of black coffee to his lips tremored ever so slightly. He had forgotten how many hours—or centuries—it had been since he had had any sleep. One difficulty had followed another through the night, until the dawn of a new day brought its own problems. Dallas Levy’s voice buzzed in the earpiece of the phone like an irritated wasp while Barney sipped his coffee.

“I agree, I agree, Dallas,” he rasped in answer, his vocal cords eroded by three chain-smoked packs of cigarettes. “Just stick by him and keep him quiet, no one ever goes near those old storerooms… Well you’ve been on double time the last three hours… All right then, treble time now, I’ll okay the vouchers. Just keep him locked up and quiet until we decide what to do with him. And tell Dr Lyn to get up here as soon as he has finished talking to B.O. Plenty.”