The Song of the Siren

“It would be good for you, Carlotta. Benjie will be good for you. He’s like his father, and a woman could not have a better husband than my Gregory.” She looked at me seriously:

“You would have been very unhappy with Beaumont Granville,” she added.

I turned away and she went on: “Yes, you would. Oh, I admit he is a fascinating creature.

I can picture him now living in splendour, congratulating himself on his cleverness.

He cannot return to England. His creditors would descend on him like vultures. I wonder where he is. I don’t think it is Venice. I have written several times to a very dear friend of mine, the Contessa Carpori who owns the palazzo where you were born. She knew Beau. He was quite a well known figure in Venice. She says he is not there. If she hears of his turning up in any other Italian city she will let me know.

Stop thinking of him. Get him out of your thoughts. It was fun while it lasted, was it not? Can you look on it as experience.”

“It was such a wonderful experience, Harriet.”

“Of course it would be. He would be a superb lover. But there are others in the world.

It was your fortune he wanted, Carlotta.”

“Then why did he not stay to take it?”

“It could only be because some more attractive proposition presented itself. That is the only thing I can think of. He owed money all round. He could not stay and face his creditors. It might be that your grandfather threatened him. Carleton Eversleigh has great influence at Court. He could ruin Beau if he set out to. But I don’t think Beau is the type to give way lightly. You should face the facts, Carlotta, even when they’re not very pleasant. The only solution seems that he scented a better proposition somewhere else and went off to pursue it.”

“Harriet, it is nearly three years.”

“And you have come of age. Forget him. Strike out anew. You have everything a girl could ask for. Beauty of the kind which will make you irresistible to almost any man; you have wealth; my dear child, what would I have done for your fortune when I was your age!’

”You managed very well without it.”

“I had to face years of struggle. I enjoyed it, yes. It’s the adventure in my bones, but sometimes I had to do certain things which I had rather not. Carlotta, turn away from the past. Look ahead. The future’s bright. Don’t take Benjie if you don’t want to. But I hope you will for many reasons “

“The fortune being one.”

“The fortune being one. But let me tell you that doesn’t count with Benjie. He’s a good boy, my Benjamin. He takes after his father, and believe me if it’s a husband and not a demon lover you are looking for, you couldn’t find a better man.”

Harriet kissed me and showed me what she was going to wear to the banquet which was to celebrate my coming of age.

She had had an effect on me as she always did. Eversleigh Court was full and there were guests in the Dower House too. It was a solemn as well as a festive occasion.

My coming of age. I had to listen to Sally Nullens telling me that I was the naughtiest of all her children and I had the best pair of lungs she had ever encountered which I used to get what I wanted. “There’s some who would have given it to you,” she commented.

“But that was not my way. I could give a sharp smack where it hurt most and that’s what you got from me and didn’t bear a grudge for it-I will give you that.” And there was Emily Philpots: “I’ll say this for you, you might have got your pretty clothes in a mess but you did look lovely in them and it was a pleasure to sew for you. You haven’t changed, Mistress Carlotta. I pity the man who gets you, yes I do.” I might have said that as no man had ever tried to get Emily she might not be the best authority on the subject, but I loved them both in my way. They had been part of my childhood.

Damaris followed me around with a look of awestruck wonder on her face. She was eleven now-rather gauche and too fat; her adora always nursing sick animals and unhappy because some of them had died. She loved her horse and was quite an expert horsewoman. She the pet of Sally Nullens and Emily Philpots. I gathered she had the right sort of lungs and had rarely been beaten where it hurt ; and I was sure that she kept her clothes tidy and I felt a mean Ratification that she hadn’t looked as beautiful in them as I had in mine.

My mother, Leigh and even my grandparents were all hoping I would marry Benjie. It seemed they all knew that he wanted me to. There was a certain watchfulness about everyone. Almost as though they wanted to see me settled so that they could write “Finish” to the episode between Beau and me. I think they had the facile thought that once I was married it could be as though I had never known Beau.

I was desperately unsure, but I wanted to find out whether they were right and I suppose that was a step forward.

So I rode with Benjie; I danced with Benjie. I liked Benjie. I felt a mild excitement when he held my hand or touched my arm or now and then kissed me.