The Ranch

“Yeah,” he said, thinking about it, as they sat on his bed, talking. “But I don't want to be your employee.”

“What does that mean?” she asked, looking puzzled.

“It means I don't want you to pay me,” he said quietly, and she could see in his eyes he meant it.

“How are you going to live then?” She was worried about him, and she wanted to work it out with him. There had to be a way they could do it.

“I've got some money saved up. I haven't worked all these years for nothing. I could buy some horses, do some breeding, do some extra work here on the ranch. I could work for room and board at your place. We could work it out,” he said, pulling her close to him again. “I'm not worried about it.” He was feeling better again, he loved her so much, he knew he could do anything with her, as long as they were on equal terms, just so he didn't wind up feeling like one of her employees. But she liked his ideas, and she was thinking about it while he kissed her.

“I don't want to leave you,” she said again. He knew she meant that week and not that morning.

“Then don't,” he said hoarsely, wanting to make love to her again. He had never had another relationship like this one. It challenged him to his very soul, and physically she drove him crazy. “Don't go.”

“I have to. I've got a bunch of engagements for the next few weeks, and I have to cut a record.” And then she thought of the concert tour she'd agreed to. She told him about it while she got dressed, and he listened. “Gordon, would you come with me?” It would mean exposing him to the press, but sooner or later they both knew that would happen, just so long as they were ready for it.

“I'd come if you want me to,” he said, thinking. In a funny way, it appealed to him, in another way, it didn't. He wanted to be with her, and to protect her from all the garbage she went through. But the idea of being part of all that really scared him. But he knew that if he was going to be with her, he had to at least share in her world some of the time. He couldn't expect her to spend all her time hiding with him in Wyoming. “I'd do it,” he said, and she kissed him. “I don't know what we're going to do, Tan. Your life is pretty complicated, but we'll work it out if we have to.” And then he asked her an odd question.

“What about kids? How come you never had one?” He had been wondering about that since he met her. She was such a warm, caring person that it seemed strange to him she'd never had children.

“The time was never right. I was always married to the wrong person at the wrong time, being pushed around by managers and agents. They probably would have killed me if I'd gotten pregnant.” He nodded, it made sense to him, but he was sorry for her. He thought she would have been a good mother.

“Would you still want one?” he asked, looking at her thoughtfully, and she was startled by his question.

“I don't know,” she said honestly, “I did a few years ago.” She had tried to talk Tony into it, but he hadn't wanted more kids, and he said it was too much trouble. “My doctor thought it might take some real effort at my age.” But just his asking about it made her think about it again, and she was surprised to realize, the idea was appealing. And then she laughed, he was certainly turning her life around. He was trying to talk her into moving to Wyoming, living on a ranch, and having a baby. She said as much to him and he laughed. “Talk about a change of lifestyle. I feel like Heidi.” And then she looked at him honestly. “I might want a kid, would it matter if I didn't?”

“Whatever you want,” he said, leaning over to kiss her again and starting to take her clothes off, but they both knew she had to leave before the ranch came alive and everyone started working. “I just think it would be great to have a child with you,” he said. He hadn't felt that way in years. He hadn't felt any of this, and then she told him about Zoe's baby, and asked how he'd feel about it if Zoe left Jade to her. She had meant to ask earlier but never had the chance. But he didn't see any problem with it. As far as he was concerned, that was up to Tanya.

It took all the strength she had to tear herself away from him, and finally she was dressed, and he was in his jeans and barefoot, standing in his living room. He was holding her in his arms, and he never wanted to let her go, not for a single minute. It was six o'clock, and in three hours, they'd be riding together again, but she didn't want to leave him.

“I can't leave you for three hours,” she said with huge eyes looking into his. “How am I going to leave you on Sunday?”

“I don't know the answer to that either.” He closed his eyes and held her for a long moment. “You'd better go though.” He glanced at his watch, and he knew that any minute the wranglers would leave their cabins for the corral, and most of the employees would leave for breakfast. “Will you come back tonight?” He looked at her with worried eyes, and she smiled.