The Mousetrap

LISA. Who was that?

KARL. A very spoiled young girl. Naturally she’s at liberty to attend classes and waste her time, but she wants private tuition—special lessons.

LISA. Is she prepared to pay for them?

KARL. That is her idea. Her father, I gather, has immense wealth and has always bought his daughter everything she wanted. Well, he won’t buy her private tuition from me.

LISA. We could do with the money.

KARL. I know. I know, but it’s not a question of money—it’s the time, you see, Lisa. I really haven’t got the time. There are two boys, Sydney Abrahamson—you know him—and another boy. A coal miner’s son. They’re both keen, desperately keen, and I think they’ve got the stuff in them. But they’re handicapped by a bad superficial education. I’ve got to give them private time if they’re to have a chance.

LISArises, crosses above the armchair and flicks her cigarette ash into the ashtray on the desk.

And they’re worth it, Lisa, they’re worth it. Do you understand?

LISA. I understand that one cannot possibly change you, Karl. You stand by and smile when a student helps himself to a valuable book, you refuse a rich pupil in favour of a penniless one. (She crosses toC) I’m sure it is very noble, but nobility doesn’t pay the baker and the butcher and the grocer.

KARL. But surely, Lisa, we are really not so hard up.

LISA. No, we are not really so hard up, but we could always do with some more money. Just think what we could do with this room.

The thumping of a stick is heard offR.

Ah! Anya is awake.

KARL. (rising) I’ll go to her.

KARLexits downR. LISAsmiles, sighs and shakes her head, then collects the books from the armchair and puts them on the tableRC. The music of a barrel organ is heard off.LISApicks up the “Walter Savage Landor” from the tableRC, sits on the left arm of the sofa and reads,MRS. ROPERenters the hall fromR. She carries a large parcel of washing. She exits in the hall toL, deposits the parcel, then re-enters and comes into the room with her shopping bag.

MRS. ROPER. I got the washing. (She goes to the desk) And I got a few more fags for the professor—he was right out again. (She takes a packet of cigarettes from her shopping bags and puts them on the desk) Oh! Don’t they carry on when they run out of fags? You should have heard Mr. Freemantel at my last place. (She puts her bag on the floor R of the armchair) Screamed blue murder he did if he hadn’t got a fag. Always sarcastic to his wife, he was. They were incompatible—you know, he had a secretary. Saucy cat! When the divorce came up, I could have told them a thing or two, from what I saw. I would have done, too, but for Mr. Roper. I thought it was only right, but he said, “No, Ivy, never spit against the wind.”

The front door bell rings.

Shall I see who it is?

LISA. (rising) If you please, Mrs. Roper.

MRS. ROPERexits by the hall toR.

DOCTOR. (off) Good evening, Mrs. Roper.

MRS. ROPERre-enters.DOCTORSTONERfollows her on. He is a typical family doctor of the old school, aged about sixty. He is affectionately at home.

MRS. ROPER. (as she enters) It’s the doctor.

DOCTOR. Good evening, Lisa, my dear. (He stands upRand looks around the room at the masses of books everywhere)

LISA. (moving toRof the tableRC) Hello, Doctor Stoner.

MRS. ROPER. (picking up her bag) Well, I must be off. Oh, Miss Koletzky, I’ll bring in another quarter of tea in the morning, we’re right out again. ’Bye!

MRS. ROPERexits upC, closing the doors behind her. TheDOCTORcrosses below the sofa toRof it.

DOCTOR. Well, Lisa, and how goes it?

LISAmoves about the tableRCand marks her place in the book, with a piece of flower wrapping paper.