The Mousetrap

SIRWILFRID. The great thing is to be calm and to tackle all this sensibly.

ROMAINE. That suits me very well. But you must not hide anything from me, Sir Wilfrid. You must not try and spare me. I want to know everything. (With a slightly different inflection.) I want to know—the worst.

SIRWILFRID. Splendid. Splendid. That’s the right way to tackle things. (He moves to R. of the desk.) Now, dear lady, we’re not going to give way to alarm or despondency, we’re going to look at things in a sensible and straightforward manner. (He sits R. of the desk.) Your husband became friendly with Miss French about six weeks ago. You were—er—aware of that friendship?

ROMAINE. He told me that he had rescued an old lady and her parcels one day in the middle of a crowded street. He told me that she had asked him to go and see her.

SIRWILFRID. All very natural, I think. And your husband did go and see her.

ROMAINE. Yes.

SIRWILFRID. And they became great friends.

ROMAINE. Evidently.

SIRWILFRID. There was no question of your accompanying your husband on any occasion?

ROMAINE. Leonard thought it better not.

SIRWILFRID. (Shooting a keen glance at her) He thought it better not. Yes. Just between ourselves, why did he think it better not?

ROMAINE. He thought Miss French would prefer it that way.

SIRWILFRID. (A little nervously and sliding off the subject.) Yes, yes, quite. Well, we can go into that some other time. Your husband, then, became friends with Miss French, he did her various little services, she was a lonely old woman with time on her hands and she found your husband’s companionship congenial to her.

ROMAINE. Leonard can be very charming.

SIRWILFRID. Yes, I’m sure he can. He felt, no doubt, it was a kindly action on his part to go and cheer up the old lady.

ROMAINE. I daresay.

SIRWILFRID. You yourself did not object at all to your husband’s friendship with this old lady?

ROMAINE. I do not think I objected, no.

SIRWILFRID. You have, of course, perfect trust in your husband, Mrs. Vole. Knowing him as well as you do . . .

ROMAINE. Yes, I know Leonard very well.

SIRWILFRID. I can’t tell you how much I admire your calm and your courage, Mrs. Vole. Knowing as I do how devoted you are to him . . .

ROMAINE. So you know how devoted I am to him?

SIRWILFRID. Of course.

ROMAINE. But excuse me, I am a foreigner. I do not always know your English terms. But is there not a saying about knowing something of your own knowledge? You do not know that I am devoted to Leonard, of your own knowledge, do you, Sir Wilfrid? (She smiles.)

SIRWILFRID. (Slightly disconcerted.) No, no, that is of course true. But your husband told me.

ROMAINE. Leonard told you how devoted I was to him?

SIRWILFRID. Indeed, he spoke of your devotion in the most moving terms.

ROMAINE. Men, I often think, are very stupid.

SIRWILFRID. I beg your pardon?

ROMAINE. It does not matter. Please go on.

SIRWILFRID. (Rising and crossing above the desk toC.) This Miss French was a woman of some considerable wealth. She had no near relations. Like many eccentric elderly ladies she was fond of making wills. She had made several wills in her lifetime. Shortly after meeting your husband she made a fresh will. After some small bequests she left the whole of her fortune to your husband.

ROMAINE. Yes.

SIRWILFRID. You know that?

ROMAINE. I read it in the paper this evening.

SIRWILFRID. Quite, quite. Before reading it in the paper, you had no idea of the fact? Your husband had no idea of it?

ROMAINE. (After a pause.) Is that what he told you?

SIRWILFRID. Yes. You don’t suggest anything different?

ROMAINE. No. Oh, no. I do not suggest anything.

SIRWILFRID. (Crossing above the desk toR. of it and sitting) There seems to be no doubt that Miss French looked upon your husband rather in the light of a son, or perhaps a very favourite nephew.

ROMAINE. (With distinct irony.) You think Miss French looked upon Leonard as a son?

SIRWILFRID. (Flustered.) Yes, I think so. Definitely I think so. I think that could be regarded as quite natural, quite normal under the circumstances.

ROMAINE. What hypocrites you are in this country.

(MAYHEW sits on the chair L. of the fireplace.)

SIRWILFRID. My dear Mrs. Vole!

ROMAINE. I shock you? I am so sorry.