The Mountain Shadow

He drank too much, and he did too much of everything else he enjoyed. He was a young man in charge of an empire, burning youth into age.

‘What do you think they were really after?’ he asked me, after a long pause.

‘Why don’t you tell me? What’s the deal with Pakistan? What else didn’t you tell me, when you sent me to Goa?’

‘I tell you what you need to know!’ Sanjay snapped.

‘This was something that I needed to know before today,’ I said evenly. ‘You weren’t tied to that lounge chair, Sanjay. I was.’

‘Damn right!’ Farid said.

Sanjay let his eyes drift to his hands, resting on the glass table. His biggest fear, reasonably enough, was a bloody gang war that took most of the lives and power from one gang, and all the lives and power from another. Anything short of that, in his eyes, was a victory. It was the only thing we agreed on, in all the missions and battles of the last two years.

‘There are things in play here that you don’t know, and can’t understand,’ he said. ‘I’m running this Company. I tell you both what you need to know, and nothing more. So, fuck you, Lin. And fuck you, Farid.’

‘Fuck me, Sanjay?’ Farid spat at him. ‘That’s all the respect I get? How about I fuck your happiness right here and now?’

He took a step toward Sanjay but I stopped him, my hands on his chest.

‘Take it easy, Farid brother,’ I said. ‘This is just what they wanted, when they slapped me around today – us, falling out with each other.’

‘Fuck me?’ Farid snarled. ‘Say it again, boss. Say it again.’

Sanjay stared at the young fighter for a while, and then his cold eyes drifted to mine.

‘Tell me the truth, Lin. What did you tell them?’

It was my turn to anger. Rage drew in a breath. My lips widened, splitting cuts.

‘What are you trying to say, boss?’

He frowned, irritated.

‘Come on, Lin,’ he said. ‘This is the real world. People talk. What did you tell them?’

I was angry enough to beat him senseless; angrier at him, in fact, than the men who’d nearly beaten me senseless.

‘Of course he didn’t say anything!’ Farid said. ‘It’s not the first time he’s been kicked by the other side. Me, too. And you, too, Sanjay. Stop being so disrespectful. What’s the matter with you, boss?’

Sanjay flashed a look, exasperated to the point of being vicious, revealing how close he was to the edge. Farid held his gaze for a moment, but then looked away.

Sanjay turned back to me.

‘You can go, Lin,’ he said. ‘And whatever you did or didn’t say before, keep your mouth shut about this from now on.’

‘About what, Sanjay? About the act they put on today? One minute they’re gonna kill me, the next minute they’re letting me go. They wanted me to come back here, in this condition, and say the word Pakistan to you. It’s a message. I’m the message. This Scorpion guy, Vishnu, is big on messages.’

‘So am I,’ Sanjay smiled. ‘And I write messages in blood, like they do. In a time and manner of my own choosing.’

‘Whatever you do, don’t do it for me.’

‘Are you telling me what to do? Who the fuck do you think you are?’

There was a dragon inside me, all fire, but I didn’t want some other soldier to sit in a chair, as I’d done, until the ceiling turned red.

‘Don’t square up for me, boss. When the time comes, I’ll handle that myself.’

‘You’ll do what you’re told, and when you’re told.’

‘I’ll square this up myself, Sanjay,’ I repeated. ‘In a time and manner of my own choosing. Just so we’re clear that I told you, in advance.’

‘Get out,’ Sanjay said, his eyes narrowing. ‘Both of you. Don’t come near me, Lin, unless I send for you. Get out.’

On the street Farid stopped me, angrier than I was.

‘Lin,’ he said quietly, his eyes wider than rage. ‘I don’t give a shit what Sanjay says. He’s weak. He’s nothing. I have no respect for him any more. We’ll find Abdullah. We’ll go, just the three of us, without saying a thing. We’ll kill this Vishnu, the one in charge, and those other gandus, Danda and Hanuman.’

I smiled, bathing my wounded face in the warmth of his brave heart.

‘It’s okay. Leave it alone. Right place and right time, brother. One way or another, I’ll see those guys again, and if I need you, I’ll make sure to call you.’

‘Night and day, man,’ he replied, shaking hands.

He rode away, and I looked back at Sanjay’s mansion: another mansion, in a city of slums. The street windows were sealed, red metal shutters rusted into their slides. A withered hedge clung to a wrought-iron fence.

It was a lot like the house the Scorpions returned to, after they’d worked me over. It was too much like that house.

You can respect a man’s rights or opinions without knowing the man at all. But you can only respect the man himself when you find something in him that’s worthy of the word.

Farid didn’t look up to Sanjay, and it was clear that others on the Council felt the same way. I’d never looked up to Sanjay, but still I worked for him, under the protection of the Company that bore his name.