The Miracle at St. Bruno's

 "I was never a woman who wished to stand alone. Simon has promised to look after me. There are women who must have a husband. I am one. Simon and I understand each other. Your father and I had little to say to each other. He was always buried in a book or teaching you. I could never understand him when he quoted in his Greek or was it Latin?”

"You make excuses," I said. "You are eager for this marriage. I see it. You are ten years or more older than he. And he is marrying you for the estate!”

"The estate is his without me.”

"But he wants it as it was. He wants a woman to look after the household as you do.

He does not want it said that he turned the family from the home to beg in the streets.

He wants to have power over us. Can't you see?”

"You imagine this, Damask.”

"And who informed against Father?" I asked.

"There were many who could have done it.”

"The servants, who would lose a good master by it?" I demanded.

"There are others who could have done it.”

"His wife," I asked, "who fancied a young man in her bed?”

"Damask!”

I was sorry at once. "Oh, Mother," I said, "I cannot bear it. He has gone forever.

I shall never see his dear face again, never hear his voice...”

I covered my face with my hands and she was holding me in her arms. "My child," she said, "my baby. I understand. You are upset. You and he were as one. I used to feel shut out. You never had much time for me, did you? I understand. Try to accept this, daughter. Try to see that we have to go on and this is a way.”

I felt limp and exhausted by my emotion. I allowed her to take me to my room and tuck me in. She brought me a potion. She had just devised it, she said. There was pimpernel to make me feel happy and thyme to give me pleasant dreams and there was an ashen branch to lay on my pillow for it was said to drive away evil spirits-those who put cruel thoughts into the mind.

I let her soothe me and, worn out with emotion, I slept.

When I awoke I was refreshed. I thought of my mother, helpless like her shrubs in the gale, blown this way and that by circumstances which were too much for her. I could not blame her. I knew her character well. She was a good housekeeper; she wanted to live in peace; my father had had little in common with her for she had never been educated beyond learning to read and write; she could never follow his reasoning.

He had determined to educate me and he had often said that education was not learning the fruit and flowers of other men in order to repeat them and make a show of erudition; its purpose must be to set the mind in motion that it might produce flowers and fruit of its own.

I must not blame her.

And she was right. I had now to fend for myself. I would have to make some plan, for I did not believe I could continue to live under this roof and see that man in my father's place. I had been wrong to voice my suspicions of him, for I must admit they were but suspicions. Could he really have been responsible for my father's betrayal?

Perhaps he was merely the jackal who waited for the moment to come in after the kill.

I must be fair. What had he done? He had asked me to marry him and I had refused.

My father had been murdered and his estates given to Simon. Why? I must be reasonable.

I must be logical. Could it in truth be because he was my father's betrayer? I could not be sure and because I was not sure I must not accuse him. I would find out though. And meanwhile must I live on his bounty?

I dreaded meeting him but I could not avoid him for long. I came from my room and found him in the hall. He watched me as I walked down the stairs.

"Welcome home, Damask," he said.

I stared blankly at him.

"It is good to have you back," he went on.

"I suppose you are expecting me to congratulate you on your forthcoming marriage.”

"No, I was not expecting that. You take it hardly, I know.”

"The murdered husband is scarcely cold in his grave.”

"My dear Damask, you have been infected by those Greek tragedies on which you set such store. Now I am going to ask you to take care. I would not have you in disgrace.

Curb your tongue, I beg of you. You could be in dire trouble so easily. I am going to take care of you now. I shall be your stepfather....”

I laughed. "It was not quite the role you at first chose for yourself!”

"I think you understand my feelings for you.”

"Which were conveniently transferred to my mother.”

"Your mother and I are scarcely young romantic people.”

"I believe she is some years older than you.”

"It is not a great deal.”

"So convenient! Although had she been thirty years older I am sure you would have found that no obstacle.”

"My poor sad Damask!”

"I am not your possession yet.”

"I am devoted to you and to your mother," he said. "These estates have been bestowed on me. I could not take them from you. So this marriage seems to be the best solution.”

"You could always hand them back.”

"I do not think that would be allowed. I am doing what I think is best for us all.”

"And if I had agreed to marry you, what then?”