The Miracle at St. Bruno's

"We must needs bear what God has decided we must.”

"God! What has God to do with this? Why should wicked murderers prosper while saints are done to death? Why should they dance in their castles... a new wife every…”

"Hush! What talk is this! Damask, I beg of you have a care. Do you want to please me? Do you want to bring me happiness?”

"Father, you know.”

"Then listen to me. Go back home. Comfort your mother. Watch over her. When the time comes marry and have children, it can be the greatest joy. When you have little ones you will cease to mourn for your father. You will know it is the rule of life the old pass on and make way for the young.”

"We are going to take you back home, Father.”

He stroked my hair.

"We shall find a way. We must. Do you think I can endure to be there without you!

You have always been there. All my life I have looked to you. I never thought till now that there would come a time when you... would not... be there.”

"My love," he said, "you distress yourself... and me.”

"Let us be practical then. We shall try to get you out of here. Why should you not change clothes with me now... You could go and I could stay here.”

He laughed tenderly. "My dearest, do you think I would look like a boy? Do you think you could be mistaken for an old man? And do you think I would leave here one who is more dear to me than my own life? You talk wildly, child, but your talk pleases me. We have loved each other truly, we two.”

The warder was at the door.

"You'll have to come away now. It's dangerous to stay longer.”

"No," I cried, and clung to my father.

He put me from him gently. "Go now, Damask," he said. "I shall remember as long as I live that you came to me, that you cut off your beautiful hair for the sake of a few brief moments.”

"What is my hair compared with my love for you?”

"My child, I shall remember." Then he caught me to him and held me tightly. "Damask, take care. Watch your tongue. You must know we are in danger. Someone betrayed me.

Someone could betray you. That is something I could not endure. If I know that you are safe and your mother is safe... I can be content. To be careful, to care for each other, to live in peace... that could be the greatest thing you could do for me.”

"Come now," growled the warder.

One last embrace and there I was standing in the dank passage, that heavy door between him and me.

 I was unaware of the journey to the barge. I only vaguely saw the rat that scuttled across our path. There was Torn Skillen waiting to help me into the barge.

And as we rode along the dark river, guided by the lights from the Lantern Turret, one thing my father had said kept recurring in my mind. "Someone betrayed me.”

I did not see him again. They took him out on Tower Hill and that noble head was severed by the ax.

On the day it happened my mother, on Simon Caseman's advice and without my knowledge until afterward, gave me a draft which she had made with poppy juice. It sent me into a deep sleep from which I did not awaken until I was fatherless.

I rose from my bed, heavy eyed but heavier hearted; I went downstairs and found my mother seated in her room, her hands in her lap, staring blankly before her.

I knew then that she was a widow and I had lost the dearest and best of fathers forever.

For the next few days I went about in a kind of daze. When people spoke to me I did not hear. Rupert tried to comfort me; so did Simon Caseman.

"I'll take care of you for evermore," Rupert told me, and I did not realize until later that he was asking me to marry him.

Simon Caseman was more definite. I did not forget that he had arranged the meeting with my father. He had seen his execution and that of Amos Carmen, and he told of it.

"You would have been proud of your father, Damask," he said. "He walked out to his death calmly and without fear. He laid his head upon the block with a resignation which was the admiration of all who beheld it. But I will not speak of it. It is better not.”

I was silent; my grief welling up within me. I had shed no tears. My mother said it would be better if I did.

Simon said: "His last thoughts were of you. I had a word with him. You were his great concern... you and your mother. He longed to see you in the care of a strong man.

That was one of his greatest desires. Damask, I am here to take care of you. You need a strong arm to lean on; you need the love which only a husband can give you. Let us delay no longer. It would be his wish and remember, you are alone in a dangerous world. When a man is arraigned for treason who knows what is in store for his family? You need me to care for you, Damask, as I need you because I love you.”

I looked at him and the old repellence came back. I fancied I saw the fox's mask and I drew away from him. Doubtless my expression betrayed my feelings.

"I would not marry for expediency," I said, "though, Simon, I am grateful to you for what you have done for me at this cruel time, but I could not marry you, for I do not love you and I would not marry where I did not love.”