The Miracle at St. Bruno's

"Wake up," she said. But I had not been asleep. I don't know whether it was some premonition which kept me awake on that night. It was almost as though I was aware that this was going to be the end of an era.

She said: "Keziah's not in her room.”

I sat up in bed. "She's with one of the men.”

"Yes, she's with a man. She's at the Abbey, I dareswear.”

"That man. He's sent for her again!”

"She went willingly enough. It's... horrible.”

"Keziah was always like that.”

"Yes, I know. A man only had to beckon and she was after him. I wonder your father allows her in the house.”

"I don't think he knows.”

"His head is in the clouds. One day he will lose it if he is not careful.”

"Kate, don't dare say such things!”

"I must say what I feel. Everything has changed so much. Do you remember when we went to see Queen Anne? How different it seemed then. Now everything has changed.”

"No, it was changing then. It has always been changing, but it seems now that tragedy is coming near... nearer to us.”

Kate sitting on the edge of my bed clasping her knees looked thoughtful. She did not want this kind of excitement. She wanted balls and gaiety, the pleasure of wearing fine clothes and jewels and men desiring her.

"It's time your father thought of a match for me," she said. "And all he thinks of is what is happening at the Abbey.”

"We all think of it.”

"It's so long since we've seen Bruno," said Kate. "I wonder...”

I had never seen her so concerned for anyone before. She said: "Let's talk of pleasant things. Let's forget Weaver and his men and the Abbey.”

"We could not forget it for long," I said, "because it is so much a part of our lives and what is happening there is happening to us.”

But Kate wanted to talk of pleasant things. Her marriage, for instance. The Duke or Earl who would take her to Court. He would be rich and doting; but she was halfhearted and as she talked of the splendors to come I knew she was thinking of Bruno.

Was it premonition?

It was five of the clock when Keziah came in. Kate had seen her staggering across the courtyard and brought her to my room.

She was without shoes or stockings and her feet were bleeding; her gown was torn and I saw a great bruise across her shoulder. She seemed as though she were intoxicated but I could smell no drink on her breath.

I cried out: "What has happened?”

"She seems to be demented," said Kate. "Something's certainly happened to her.”

Keziah looked at me and held out a hand. I took it. She was trembling.

I said: "Keziah, what is it? What happened? You've been hurt.”

She said: "Mistress Damask. I'm a sinner. The gates of hell are yawning for me.”

I said, "Pull yourself together, Keziah. What happened? How did you get into this state?”

"She's come from the Abbey," said Kate. "You've come from the Abbey, Keziah. Don't try to deny it.”

Keziah shook her head. "No. Not the Abbey," she said. "I've sinned... I've sinned something awful. I've told what should be locked away in here." She beat her breast with such violence that I thought she would injure herself.

I said: "For God's sake, Keziah, what have you done?”

"I've told them. I've told him and now 'tis for the whole world to know what was a sacred secret. What'll they do now, Mistress Damask? What'll they do now they know?”

"You'd better tell us what they know," said Kate. "And you'd better be quick about it.”

Keziah rolled her eyes up to the ceiling and then burst into bitter sobbing.

I felt I had strayed into a nightmare. I knew that something portentous had happened.

I had never seen careless, sensuous Keziah in such a state before. Had she been an innocent young girl I should have thought that she had been raped by the monsters who had invaded the Abbey, but Keziah was no innocent girl, she was one who would find rape an enjoyable experience.

But this was real sorrow-abandoned sorrow. Keziah was in torment.

 I said gently: "Tell us, Kezzie. It'll help. Start at the beginning and tell us all.”

She turned to me and I put my arms about her. She winced with pain. Her big rather flaccid body trembled.

"I've told," she babbled. "I've told what ought never to be told. I've done something terrible. I wonder Satan himself don't come down for me.

"Begin at the beginning," commanded Kate. "Tell us everything. You're just babbling nonsense.”

"Yes, it'll help you to talk, Kezzie," I said. "I doubt it's as bad as you think.”

"It's terrible, Mistress Damask, I'm doomed. The gates of hell be yawning....”

"Don't start that again," Kate said impatiently. "Now what happened? That man sent for you and you went willingly. In fact you could scarcely wait to get there. We know that.”

"Oh, it were before that, Mistress Kate. It were long before that. It was when I found the gate in the wall. That's when it all began.”

The gate in the wall! Kate and I exchanged glances.

"It were covered by the ivy and none would guess there was a gate there, but I found it... and I went through. I walked into sacred ground. I should have known I was damned from then.”