The changeling

Would it? I wondered. He was going to marry again, because a wife was good for his political career. Belinda and I were to be his family for the same reason. There would always be a motive with him. Lizzie had brought him a goldmine; my mother had brought him love; and this new woman and Belinda and I were to provide the happy family which the voters liked their member to have.

One thing I was certain of was that no one was going to part me from Lucie.

On those occasions when I knew that he was coming I always built up a picture of him in my mind. Arrogant, overbearing, knowing I did not like him and therefore despising me because ne *is so wonderful that anyone who did not recognize this obvious fact must be a fool. ?en he came he was always different from my mental picture which was a little disconcerting. He arrived in midafternoon and one of the first things he did was have a talk with my grandparents.

After that my grandmother came to my room. “He wants to talk to you,” she said. “I think he really wants to do everything for the best.”

“The best for him,” I retorted.

“The best for all concerned,” she corrected. “It is better that he explains to you himself.” down to him in the little sitting room. He rose and hands. “Why, Rebecca, how you have grown!” what did he expect, I wondered. That I was going to remain a child all my life?

“Come and sit down. I want to talk to you.”

“Yes, so I was told. I believe I have to congratulate you on your coming marriage.”

He frowned and looked at me intently. “Yes,” he said. “I am to be married next month.” He turned to me suddenly and I felt sorry for him as I had never done before. His mouth twisted a little and he said in a voice unlike his normal one: “It is six years, Rebecca. I think of her all the time. But... one cannot go on living in the past. You know what she meant to me ... and I believe she would want me to do what I propose to now. We have to get on with our lives ... you, too. I know your feelings. I know how it was with you two. She often told me…- I was there when you were born. I could be fond of you as my own child ... if you would allow me. But you never have, have you? You have resented me. I don’t reproach you. I understand ... absolutely. In fact, I believe I should have felt the same had I been you. You see, we both loved her ... infinitely,” could not believe that this was the great Benedict speaking. I was deeply moved but, even as I listened, so great was my resentment against him that I was telling myself that he was not completely sincere. He had loved her ... but in his selfish way.

There was only one person he loved wholeheartedly and that was Benedict Lansdon.

He seemed to regret his lapse into sentimentality.

“We have to be practical, Rebecca,” he went on. “It is not good for me to go on in this way ... and not good for you either. You are now a young lady. You cannot be shut away in the country.”

“I don’t feel shut away. I am very happy with my grandparents.”

“I know. They are wonderful people, but you have to come out into the world. It is what your mother would have wanted for you. You have to make a life for yourself. You have to meet people of your own age. You have to mix into a society where you belong ... where you can meet suitable people.”

“Suitable? Everything has to be suitable.”

He looked at me in amazement. “What is wrong with that? Of course everything should be suitable. You don’t want things to be unsuitable, do you? What I propose is that after the wedding, when we get settled in, you and Belinda come up to London. You will live mainly at Manorleigh. That is most ... suitable.” He looked at me and smiled. “It is a most ... er ... satisfactory residence. We shall take the governess and the nurse with us. The nursery will just be transported from Cador.”

“You make it all sound very simple.”

“It is simple. As for you ... you must have a London season.”

“I wouldn’t want that.”

“You must have it. It would be ...”

“Suitable?”

“Necessary ... in your position. You are my stepdaughter, you must remember. It would be expected. Moreover, you would find it very enjoyable ... exciting even.”

“I am not sure about that.”

“I am. You have lived too long out of touch down here.”

“I have been as happy ... as I could be in the circumstances.”

“I know. Your grandparents have been wonderful.”

“I suppose you can take Belinda, but I won’t come. I can’t. There is a reason.”

“What reason?”

“The child Lucie.”

“Oh,” he said. “That little girl in the nursery. I thought she was the nurse’s child.”

“She is not the nurse’s child. I have adopted her. I would not go anywhere without her. I don’t expect you to understand. I am sure you would consider it most ... unsuitable.”

“Why not try and explain?”

“I have told you. I have adopted her.”

“You ... a young girl ... adopt a child! It sounds absurd.”

“My grandparents understand.”

“I hope you will give me a chance to.”

I told him what had happened at the party. He listened with horror.

“Belinda ... my daughter ... did that!”