The Catswold Portal

Nine rows of cats’ heads protruded from the door, nine faces to a row. They were life-sized cats carved in such deep relief that two-thirds of each head thrust out of the wood. They were so real that one’s first impression was of live cats looking out—dark furred, handsome. The cats in the top three rows seemed to be smiling with some inscrutable feline glee. Those in the center rows looked secretive. The cats in the bottom three rows screamed open mouthed with rage, their ears laid flat, their eyes slitted, their little oak teeth sharp as daggers. Each cat was so alive that no matter how many times one saw the door, the effect was always startling. As if the cats thrust their heads through some aperture in time or dimension from another place.

And after Alice’s death, as he shuffled through her drawings looking at the individual cat faces, he felt his spine go cold for no reason. He had put the drawings away, filled with the unreasonable idea that the cats had caused her death. He had not, in succeeding months, been able to shake that thought.

He knew she had intended, on the day she died, to go to the Museum of History and try to trace the door’s origin. That was why she had the drawings with her. Maybe she’d gone there, maybe she hadn’t. Strangely, he hadn’t wanted to find out.

When Alice was small and her aunt owned the house that was now their studio—that had been their studio—Alice had believed the door of the cats was magic. Though she’d outgrown that idea, she had never outgrown her fascination with its medieval aspects and with the cats themselves.

In her early childhood photographs Alice was a thin little girl, very blond, wiry and lively. She had studied at Art Institute where her father taught; she was the only child among classes of adults. She had spent hours of her childhood in the city’s museums drawing skeletons, and at the zoo drawing the animals, while other children threw popcorn at the caged beasts. She had taught herself the intricacies of bone structure and of the movement of muscle over bone; she had learned how to bring alive the bright gleam of an eye, the sudden lifting of a paw. Some of her relatives, misunderstanding, had called her a prodigy. She had simply loved animals and wanted to paint them.

She was twenty when he met her; she was a student in the first classes he taught. He had found her dedication to animals too commercial, not painterly. He had told her that a true artist strove for the abstraction, for the heart of meaning, not just to reproduce an image. She told him she was striving for the heart of meaning, and that he was blindly misguided if he didn’t see it. She told him he was too out of touch, too idealistic. That someone who had spent four years fighting in the Pacific should see more clearly than he did. He said being a Marine had nothing to do with what he saw as a painter. He had told her that if she wanted to be a commercial artist—and he had used the term like a four-letter word—she should go across the bay to the more commercial school, and not waste her time at Art Institute.

She had been the only student at Art Institute to be making good money long before she graduated. She had established a name for herself while most of the students were still trying to find out what they wanted to do. And as he worked with her in class, he began to see that her work was not simply realistic, that it had a deep, involving power.

He still got calls two years after her death from people in other states who didn’t know Alice was dead, who wanted her to do a commission. Since the first of the year he’d talked with five thoroughbred breeders and more than a dozen hunting and show kennels. Her work had a richness and a quality of mystery that stole nothing from the strong aliveness of the animals she painted; as if she painted not only the animals, but aspects of their spirits as well.

He had given Alice’s childhood diary to her parents, though he would have liked to keep it. It contained many of her small, early drawings, mostly of the pets she had as a child. One cat in particular she had drawn many times. There was a pastel of the same cat in their favorite restaurant in the city, a small French cafe. He hadn’t been there since Alice died. The small, intimate cafe, whose walls were hung with the works of many Bay area artists, held too many painful memories of her.

In the map cabinet now were only the drawings of the garden door, and a few sketches of the child who had disappeared. He didn’t know why he had kept the drawings of the child, likely the kidnapped child had been killed though Alice had refused to believe that.