The Black Swan

“You could come back to it, but you need not be here all the time. However, it is something we could think about. Naturally we don’t want to rush into anything. You see, it’s a little complicated. I should be nearer Bradford. I have not been up there much lately... well, meeting you, and getting married... It’s made a difference. But now we are settled, I ought to be there a little more for business reasons. It could mean long separations if I don’t do something about it and I wouldn’t want that. I hope you wouldn’t either.”

“Of course I shouldn’t.”

“So... I’ve been thinking ... I ought to get a place... provide you with a home. It’s what I want to do, Lucie.”

“You mean ... we should live there... mostly?”

“Not necessarily. We’d keep the pied-à-terre for when we were in London... which would be of ten, of course.... And you’d have Manor Grange. I know that’s essential. You feel sentimental about the servants. But this is what I’ve had in mind for some time. The fact is, Lucie, I don’t think this place is good for you. There are too many associations... and tonight has made me feel the matter is urgent. Do think about it.”

“I can’t say, Roland. Manor Grange has always been a home to me... much more than the London house.”

“But this ghost ...”

“It’s true I’ve always heard the place was haunted, but by benevolent ghosts ... a loving mother come back to be with her daughter. It was very different from what I saw ... or thought I saw... tonight.”

“I have wanted to talk to you about it all so much, Lucie. But I did know that you had suffered a terrible shock. That sort of thing has its effect. Even when you think it is behind you, it can leap out and confront you. You married me... and I thought a different way of life would make you forget. But here... you are with a part of the old days. You can’t forget here.”

“And you think ... if we went away... ?”

“I do. I don’t want to rush it. We could rent a place... while we looked round to find something just what you wanted, somewhere where you could get right away from everything that has happened. And as I shall have to be in Yorkshire... well, perhaps we could look for a place near Bradford. Give it a try, Lucie. I think it is the answer.”

I wondered if he were right. He could well be. I had so looked forward to being at Manor Grange, but it had not been quite what I had hoped for; and I could see that Mrs. Emery had taken a dislike to Phillida... and after what I had seen ... or imagined I saw ... in the garden... perhaps we should find somewhere. I was not really sure what I wanted.

I said, “We’ll talk about it later.”

“Of course,” he answered, kissing me. “It was insensitive of me to bring it up now.

It just came out, I’m afraid.”

“It was kind and thoughtful of you. You are always kind and thoughtful. I expect you’re right. I expect it is this house and the talk of ghosts... and all the memories of my father, of course.”

“Yes,” he said. “Just let’s brood on this idea of the house.”

It was a long time before I slept and when I did I had a nightmare. I was going to look at a house with a prospect of buying it. I entered an old place. It was just like Manor Grange and as I stood in the hall a figure came down the stairs. He was dressed in an opera hat and black cloak and, as he bowed, taking off his hat, I saw how the hair grew to a peak on his forehead. I noticed the white scar on his cheek. I awoke screaming. Roland held me tightly, comforting me.

I slept late next morning and was awakened by Phillida at my bedside.

“Lucie,” she said gently. “You’ve had a bad night. Roland told me about it.” I started up and my gaze went to the window. She followed it and I knew that when she said “Roland told me,” she meant that he had told her everything about my hallucination, as he would call it.

“I think you should rest this morning,” she went on. “I’m going to prop you up and you’ll feel better when you’ve eaten. I’ve brought your breakfast. I prepared it myself... coffee... toast and marmalade and a lightly boiled egg.”

“Oh, Phillida, there’s no need. I’m all right.”

“No, you’re not.” She could be forceful. I could see what Mrs. Emery objected to. And there would be trouble about her preparing my breakfast. Mrs. Emery was probably at this moment stating that some people did not seem to know that in a house like this it was the servants who prepared breakfasts.

Phillida insisted on propping me up with pillows and proudly she set the tray before me. Oddly enough, although I did not feel hungry, I found myself almost absentmindedly eating what she had brought. But I did feel a little better. It was surprising what daylight does for fancies. Of course, I was telling myself, I had imagined it. It was an image lodged in the back of my mind and it came out from time to time. It was significant that I had thought I saw him on the haunted seat. “That’s better,” she said. “I’m sorry, Lucie. Roland did tell me. I hope you didn’t mind. He was so worried. He wanted advice.”