The Black Swan

“Well,” he replied, with reluctance in his voice. “I suppose Phillida is right. Perhaps it’s better to get on with it quickly... without distractions... very welcome ones, I hasten to say. But this does need a great deal of concentration and I shall be working all hours.”

“Go and come back soon then,” I said.

“It’s settled then.” Roland sounded gloomy.

“It will soon pass,” I assured him.

Phillida came to our room that night with glasses of her special beverage.

“Now did you feel the benefit last night?” she asked.

We looked at each other and smiled.

“Oh, come on,” she said. “Of course you did. I know, I tell you. I’ve studied these things. This is good for you. It’s got all the ingredients on the packet and they all have special virtues. And, promise me, Roland, when you are in London, you will take it. I shall make you take some with you and I shall want your solemn promise.”

“All right, I promise.”

She was looking at him quizzically.

“Do you want him to swear on the Bible?” I asked.

“My dear Lucie, if he promises me, he will do it. My brother is a man of honor. Now, drink up like good children.”

“We are not good children,” said Roland. “At least we are not children.”

“I know I can be a fussy old hen. But you see, I love you both so much, and I have missed you, and now I have you back. And Roland is going away!”

“Never mind,” said Roland. “You will still have Lucie to coddle.”

She flew at us and kissed us both, her eyes misty.

“My dears,” she said, “I love you both so much.”

We drank our beverages which were really rather pleasant and, as she had on the previous night, she took the tray away and left us.

After the weekend Roland left for London. I knew that I was going to miss him for there was no doubt in my mind now of the deep affection he had aroused in me. It was not what I had felt for Joel. I supposed I had been innocent and romantic when I had fallen in love with him. This was a more sober affection. I felt peaceful with Roland; and I realized that this was what I had needed for so long. I had written to Rebecca telling her how I felt, for I could open my heart to her. She replied at once and said how happy she was for me. She was sure I had done the right thing and had known as soon as she had seen Roland that he was the one for me.

I spent a lot of time with Phillida. She was very interested in every subject raised and she wanted to hear all about the places we had visited in Italy. We went to the library-my father had built up quite an extensive one at Manor Grange-and there we were about to find some references to Naples, Pompeii and Amalfi. Phillida said how wonderful it would be if we could all go back there together. “But you might not want there to be the three of us,” she said a little wistfully. “Of course I should love it,” I assured her. “And so would Roland. As a matter of fact, while we were in Italy, we were constantly talking of you and Roland was always saying, ‘Wouldn’t Phillida have liked this?’ “

“Sometimes I worry about it. I wonder whether I ought to get away... get a place of my own. It seems unfair to you two... always to have me tagging along with you.”

“Will you please put such nonsense out of your head?”

“Oh, Lucie, I’m so glad Roland married you.”

I asked how Kitty was getting on.

“Oh, quite well. She’s got a skin like a rhinoceros. It’s a good thing. She doesn’t notice the occasional barb sent in her direction.”

“Barb?”

“From the dragon, Mrs. Emery. I don’t think the lady likes Kitty very much ... and it’s not Kitty’s fault. It’s mine really ... for bringing her in like that. But she was a sort of maid to me and it didn’t occur to me that I ought to have consulted the oracle.” I sighed. “Oh, that little upset!”

“Did she speak to you about it?”

“Yes, she did. Very ceremoniously, over a cup of her special Darjeeling which is only brought out for special occasions. Apparently it was an offense against protocol to bring a servant into the house without prior consultation with an Emery.”

“The fault was entirely mine. Should I apologize to Mrs. Emery?”

I hesitated. “It might not come amiss. It might even set the matter right. All Mrs. Emery wants is recognition of her status.”

“I’ll do that and be as tactful and respectful as I can.”

We laughed together.

That night she brought up what she called my nightcap and we sat talking while I drank it. It had become a ritual.

I missed Roland very much during the days which followed. I was looking forward to his return and I thought that, next time he went to London, I would go with him. I could find plenty to do there while he was working. I could go to see Celeste and shop. I would suggest it to him when he returned.

One night it was Kitty who brought my nightcap.

She was a big woman with strong, capable hands, I noticed; she was deferential, speaking only when spoken to, which was a trait in her favor.

I thought I ought to have a little chat with her, however, and as she set the glass down on the table, I said, “Oh, it’s you, Kitty.”