Sylva

After an hour’s vain waiting during which Sylva passed to and fro before the glass some twenty times without even noticing it, the doctor asked Nanny to take her pupil right to it and force her, if possible, to look at herself. Nanny did as she was told, and we could fancy that the experiment was going to succeed. Kept almost by force face to face with her own image, Sylva seemed at last to see, to discover herself. But-typical behavior-she immediately went to look behind the glass for the person whom she had seen in it; came back discomfited; found her reflection again, walked close up to it, sniffed it for a time; and perceiving no smell, lost all interest in it.

It was a rather smarting defeat for the doctor, but as a scientist he did not take it overmuch to heart. “Too soon,” he said. “Leave the mirror where it is. There’ll come a day, no doubt, when by dint of meeting her likeness, she’ll end up by recognizing herself. I only regret one thing, and that is that I won’t be present… You’ll tell me.”

But poor Nanny felt the sting of disappointment more sharply. “We’ll never get anywhere,” she wailed when we were alone again that evening. “Her poor little brain remains that of a fox. The doctor’s first view was the right one: we’ll turn her into a nice little trained animal, but not much more.”

I remembered that Dorothy had smiled mysteriously at this failure. But she had not given her own opinion. As for myself, I was more inclined to share Nanny’s pessimism, but what I felt without admitting it was a sort of relief which in many ways resembled a keen satisfaction. As long as my Sylva, so sweet and easy, remained a fox, we’d be avoiding a lot of complications, wouldn’t we? I could go on harboring my uncertain feelings for Dorothy, which were not too uncertain, however, to preclude dreams or plans. And I could at the same time keep near me a companion such as every man has caught himself wishing for more or less secretly: unobtrusive, faithful as a dog can be, and like a dog attached without any reticence-or any claims. The more Sylva stayed as she was, as she had been on the day of her metamorphosis, the happier and more contented I was, the better I could love her in peace. It is true that I have always strongly distrusted women: what little thought and reason they have lodged in their mysterious little skulls invariably tends to spoil everything. Dorothy did not entirely escape this distrust. Oh, if only my little Sylva, I thought, could remain for a long time to come the sweet vixen she still is…

As for the mirror, we did indeed leave it where it was. I do not know if the doctor really clung to the hope that it might produce a revelation some day, or if he simply persisted in order not to cry off at once. He questioned me about it from time to time. Then, after always getting the same reply, he too seemed to lose hope. And with his hopes fading, he showed himself less often, letting his daughter drive over on her own. She often did. I was delighted with these newly found bonds of friendship and grateful to my little vixen who had so charmingly forged them without knowing it.

Chapter 13

THIS close companionship, those evenings spent by the fireside with Dorothy, sometimes with her father, leave me with memories full of charm, but also of monotony. What I mean is that nothing noteworthy ever happened, they were all very much alike and they have all merged in my mind. Several times, carried away by the warmth of the moment, I tried to lead the conversation toward veiled hints at a life together. Every time Dorothy contrived to divert its course before it risked involving a frank avowal of her feelings or mine. They were, quite visibly, of the same kind: enough tenderness and understanding to make for a successful marriage but not enough love to rush into it. I would admire her prudence after she had gone; and though I sometimes resented it a little, I nonetheless applauded this circumspection which prevented me, against my own will, from plunging headlong into too-hasty decisions.

When did I notice a change? Did I even notice it or was it much later only that I became aware of it in retrospect? Still, I may have been alive to odd quirks in Dorothy’s behavior, to some often rather queer changes of mood. There were days when she was, if not exactly morose, at least absent-minded, a little unresponsive; then gradually she would be gripped by a sort of excitement, a volubility that drowned me in meaningless chatter. On other occasions, on the contrary, she arrived in high spirits which would slowly subside into an indifference that was almost melancholy. It was quite unpredictable. I also had the impression that she was spacing out her visits, but I did not keep count of them; I only remember several times preparing everything as if I were expecting her and then being slightly disappointed to find my expectations dashed.