Stranger in a Strange Land

«Good.» Harshaw sighed. «That's all, kids. Run along.»

Anne said, «Boss? You'll tell me what the films show?»

«Want to stay and see them?»

«Oh, no! I couldn't, not the parts I Witnessed. But I want to know — later — whether or not they show that I've slipped my clutches.»

«Okay.»

XIII

WHEN THEY had gone, Harshaw started to give orders to Duke — then said grumpily, «What are you looking sour about?»

«Boss, when do we get rid of that ghoul?»

«“Ghoul”? Why, you provincial lout!»

«Okay, so I'm from Kansas. Never was any cannibalism in Kansas. I'm eating in the kitchen until he leaves.»

Harshaw said icily, «So? Anne can have your check ready in five minutes. It ought not to take more than ten to pack your comic books and your other shirt.»

Duke had been setting up a projector. He stopped. «Oh, I didn't mean I was quitting.»

«It means that to me, son.»

«But — what the hell? I've eaten in the kitchen lots of times.»

«Other circumstances. Nobody under my roof refuses to eat at my table because he won't eat with others who eat there. I am an almost extinct breed, an old-fashioned gentleman — which means I can be a cast-iron son of bitch when it suits me. It suits me right now … which is to say that no ignorant, superstitious, prejudiced bumpkin is permitted to tell me who is fit to eat at my table. I dine with publicans and sinners, that is my business. I do not break bread with Pharisees.»

Duke said slowly, «I ought to pop you one-and I would, if you were my age.»

«Don't let that stop you. I may be tougher than you think. If not, the commotion will fetch the others. Do you think you can handle the Man from Mars?»

«Him?I could break him in two with one hand!»

«Probably … if you could lay a hand on him.»

«Huh?»

«You saw me try to point a pistol at him. Duke — where's that pistol? Find that pistol. Then tell me whether you still think you can break Mike in two. But find the pistol first.»

Duke went ahead setting up the projector. «Some sleight-of-hand. The films will show it.»

Harshaw said, «Duke. Stop fiddling with that. Sit down. I'll take care of it after you've left.»

«Huh? Jubal, I don't want you touching this projector. You always get it out of whack.»

«Sit down, I said.»

«But — »

«Duke, I'll bust the damned thing if it suits me. I do not accept service from a man after he has resigned.»

«Hell, I didn't resign! You got nasty and fired me — for no reason.»

«Sit down, Duke,» Harshaw said quietly, «and let me try to save your life — or get off this place as fast as you can. Don't stop to pack. You might not live that long.»

«What the hell do you mean?»

«Exactly what I say. Duke, it's irrelevant whether you resigned or were fired; you ended your employment when you announced that you would not eat at my table. Nevertheless I would find it distasteful for you to be killed on my premises. So sit down and I will do my best to avoid it.»

Duke looked startled and sat down. Harshaw went on, «Are you Mike's water brother?»

«Huh? Of course not. Oh, I've heard such chatter — it's nonsense, if you ask me.»

«It is not nonsense and nobody asked you; you aren't competent to have an opinion.» Harshaw frowned. «Duke, I don't want to fire you; you keep the gadgetry working and save me from annoyance by mechanical buffoonery. But I must get you safely off the place — and then find out who else is not a water brother to Mike … and see that they become such — or send them away, too.» Jubal chewed his lip. «Maybe it would be enough to exact a promise from Mike not to hurt anyone without my permission. Mmmm … no, too much horse play around here — and Mike is prone to misinterpret things. Say if you — or Larry, since you won't be here … picked up Jill and tossed her into the pool, Larry might wind up where that pistol went before I could explain to Mike that Jill was not in danger. Larry is entitled to live his life without having it cut short through my carelessness. Duke, I believe in everyone's working out his own damnation but that is no excuse to give a dynamite cap to a baby.»

Duke said slowly, «Boss, you've come unzipped. Mike wouldn't hurt anybody — shucks, this cannibalism talk makes me want to throw up but don't get me wrong; he's a savage, he doesn't know any better. But he's gentle as a lamb — he would never hurt anybody.»

«You think so?»

«I'm certain.»

«So. You've got guns in your room. I say he's dangerous. It's open season on Martians; pick a gun, go down to the pool and kill him. Don't worry about the law; I guarantee you'll never be indicted. Go ahead, do it!»

«Jubal … you don't mean that.»

«No. Not really. Because you can't. If you tried, your gun would go where my pistol went — and if you hurried him you'd go with it. Duke, you don't know what you are fiddling with. Mike is not “gentle as a lamb” and he is not a savage. I suspect we are savages. Ever raise snakes?»

«Uh … no.»

«I did, when I was a kid. One winter down in Florida I caught what I thought was a scarlet snake. Know what they look like?»

«I don't like snakes.»